Authentic Living with Karen Westwood

Tanya Gill: 00:00:00

Welcome to the trifecta of joy friends, I'm so excited to share someone very dear with me today. All of you really are so lucky, I feel so blessed to be able to share this space and to share this person with you. If you read the trifecta of joy, I actually speak about Karen in the trifecta of joy, because she's one of my high council members. Karen, thanks for being here.

Karen Westwood: 00:00:28

It's my absolute pleasure. But friends, if, like, I knew my time would come.

Tanya Gill: 00:00:34

It's so awesome to have you here. And you know, like, Okay, so for people who don't know about my High Council, the Coles Notes version is that I have a group of people in my life, who are those, you can call me at any time of the day, say I need $20,000 Bring a shovel. I might have questions, but I'm there. And it's just that extremely unique, sacred kind of friendship that we have. And yours and my friendship is really unique, because we started out meeting as teachers. And then we reconnected through a book club. And then it wasn't until really after John passed, that you and I really had a soulful connection over coffee. Yes. Yes. And, and that began, like a friendship that is spanned, like, 16 years. Really?

Karen Westwood: 00:01:40

Yes. Yes. And, and that when we met over, I mean, my mom had had died recently as well. And so our that our bond at that time was was really centered around our, our journey through grief. Because I think we found ourselves because we were really young, we had little kids or kids or just babies really. And so we clung to each other. Right as as, as we grieved, and both of us, very cerebral, really delved into it, you know, having that cerebral and that spiritual side to both of us. So we, for many years, we had grief Hardy, we became certified in thanatology the study of death and bereavement, we became grief practitioners together, attended conferences, all sorts of things, wrote papers together. Yeah. Yeah. It really dove in.

Tanya Gill: 00:02:46

And I think that, you know, that's one of those things is when we're, when we find ourselves in those places, because we're cerebral. In this case, we were both like, we need to find a healing path forward for ourselves and others. Yes. Right. And that, you know, that was the big piece for us is finding that path forward for ourselves and others, because we knew that if we were feeling it, there were others that were experiencing it as well. And we want to, we really, like had that deep desire to not only heal our own experience, but also to help others feel that they could move through it in a way that was supportive and healing, and actually had the capacity to put one foot in front of the other day after day, in the depths of grief and loss. Yeah. Right. And,

Karen Westwood: 00:03:39

yeah, yeah, that is so true. My friend, sorry to interrupt, but I'm just as you're talking the whole time, I'm thinking that that is something we have so much in common, even even when we're going through what feels like the most horrific stuff. I mean, even even in the darkest points of it, I think we both sort of go to how would we teach this? How would, right? It's the teacher in us that cannot be squished that just wants to help others move through these same things. How would we go about that?

Tanya Gill: 00:04:12

Right. And, and it's also about, you know, like, yes, the teacher in us, which is so funny, right? Because like both of us have never haven't really given a lot of recognition to the teachers in us in a lot of years. Yes, yeah. And yet, and yet, like, you know, we talk about, about change all the time. And you and I have these beautiful, heartfelt conversations and, and I think what I want our listeners to understand is that you live in Victoria, I live in Lethbridge. You've been living in Victoria for a couple of years now. We don't connect on a regular basis. Now. Right, like How often would you say we connect? Oh,

Karen Westwood: 00:04:57

I would say once every two months. I mean, Once a month if we're lucky, I mean, there's occasional tax but a conversation is about every six weeks probably. Right? I mean, we intend it to be more, but life is constantly interfering with that intention.

Tanya Gill: 00:05:14

Right. And, and, and there's flow. And there is like, there's such a bond there that there's there there. The expectations. Yeah. Around that connection, or just that it exists, right. Like, there's never pressure, which is also really powerful and speaks to our connection, I think.

Karen Westwood: 00:05:39

Right. And I think immediately we both go to the hardest, the stuff that we really need to talk about which we're there within minutes, right? Yeah, we don't waste time. Now our time is limited. And we process with each other too. And, and receive guidance from each other. And and it's very, it's nourishing.

Tanya Gill: 00:06:01

It is very nourishing. It's incredibly nourishing. And, and we you know, like, yes, it may have been deaths that brought us together, which is also very interesting, because John knew your mom. Yes. And your mom knew John through work. But I never knew your mom. And you only knew John just kind of in the community. Yeah. Yeah, yes. You knew of him.

Karen Westwood: 00:06:33

I knew that my mom loved him. Sweating you give it

Tanya Gill: 00:06:37

your mom loved him. So yeah, yeah. That's, that's a beautiful thing. So it was death that brought us together. But like, as we've moved through all of these years, like we talk about big change in life, and like, the big four DS or whatever, right? death, divorce, disease, or a big decision to be made. Right. And I think that what I love about our friendship is that we've moved through all of those kinds of layers of things in our friendship, to some degree or another and supported one another and held space for one another through the what the facts of life

Karen Westwood: 00:07:18

basic. Oh, yes, absolutely. Yes, we've experienced all of those things. And more, you know, multiple times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we'd go to each other to process and, and make decisions to I think this is something I was thinking about when I, when we first when you first brought up the idea of this podcast is that friendship, ultimately, as you as you get stronger, or as you grow, as you age, unique, you make decisions from from your own center. Right? Absolutely. I mean, that's, that's so important. But, but it's, it's essential for women, to be able to commune and talk and just to, to really go around the issue and, and receive guidance from from each other. And then and then you can let it percolate. And, and really find it helps you find that center, right? Because Because sometimes sometimes you can't do it all on your own. I can't we need each other. We do.

Tanya Gill: 00:08:37

It does. And you know, like, I like I hear that on a lot of different levels. Like, I think that that, you know, I I've been told that what I personally have with my high councilor is quite rare, because I have several of you who are not necessarily connected to one another, but who all have like this, this special essence and sisterhood and, and relationship. And I think that, you know, even having one other voice in your life that you can use as that sounding board. And that place of I'm just gonna call it surrender. Because when we have conversation, it is like we I move personally into a space of surrender. And I'm like, this is where I'm at Karen, this is what's happening. This is my life right now. And, and we hold each other up, and we give each other insight and we see things from different perspectives. And like, you know, we talk about help, right? And then of course, my acronym honor, empathy, love and presence, and that's exactly what the essence of our friendship is.

Karen Westwood: 00:09:51

Yeah. Yeah, it truly is. It truly is. And it's it. It's letting your yourself, be completely vulnerable. You know, nothing is unsaid because that's where then even the most difficult things are. Are. We hold we hold them for each other.

Tanya Gill: 00:10:19

We've do hold them for each other. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a sense of safety that comes from. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And security. Yeah. And then And the interesting thing is that a lot of people are, you know, think well, is that a codependence? And, you know, and, and I know that you and I are not codependent in any way. Right? But you know, like, how do you know the difference between holding space for someone and a codependence? When it comes to like friendships? You know, like, where is that line? How do we define what codependency is and what healthy friendship is?

Karen Westwood: 00:11:07

That's interesting. To think about that for a minute, because I know that neither of us are codependent. And it's not like we need each other's opinions. I don't I don't, I don't need to know I can I can very well move forward. You know, on my own, you do?

Tanya Gill: 00:11:29

And you do. And you do.

Karen Westwood: 00:11:33

I just I, and you may say things that I may not. Oh, you know, Tony said, I need to do this, that that isn't how it works. You know, you're you're just contributing to my to my process. And I don't I'm sure that everything I say is you don't you know, jump off the call and go do it. It's just I don't, I can't imagine. I'm thinking about, you know, say world leaders, for example, do they? Do you think they have a team that they consult with and talk things through with? Of course they do. Do they have advisors? Of course they do. Right? That's what we're talking about. It's this journey of life is difficult enough. And even the strongest among us need need advising and guidance. And then once you've had all that, right, then you go within and you figure out what your next step is. That's not codependence

Tanya Gill: 00:12:39

No, no, thank you. Thank you for that, because that's exactly, you know, what I what I wanted to emphasize is that, you know, friendships are about that opportunity to for a different kind of reflection, and then the opportunity to go within. Yeah. And, and, you know, like, you and I are similar in age. We both have young adults, children, although I still have one teenager, I guess you've got a teenager as well. And, you know, and our lives are different and busy and full and demanding. And one of the things that I love about our friendship that I you know, really wanted to emphasize because this is part of the self love summer series. And so one of the things that I want to emphasize is that self love is allowing yourself to have those connections, they don't have to be all of the time. But when you have them, having them be that authentic connection that, you know, really does offer you the joy of seeing your life differently and celebrating other people's lives where they're at to. Yes.

Karen Westwood: 00:14:08

Yes.

Tanya Gill: 00:14:12

And I know that like right now, both of us have lives that are kind of sticky. We're both going through some stuff. But we can also celebrate how one another is moving through that.

Karen Westwood: 00:14:25

Yes, yes. That's right.

Karen Westwood: 00:14:30

That's right. Yeah. And just cheer each other on and tell each other how proud we are of each other and, and just hold each other and I mean, I know that you're you're always loving me and and holding me and concern for me and just that knowingness, right is, because you're right. We're not in a phase of our lives where I think that's that's that sort of settling. You know, when when before For you, there's times in your life when it's easier. And I think that time will come again for us, but it's not a time where you can have lunch, you know, two times a week and, and meet for coffee and go on trips, and that neither our lives are supporting that sort of constant connection right now is friends. But there's beauty in the, in the friendships that that are sustained through the more complex times, right. Because that's, those are the deeper friendships.

Karen Westwood: 00:15:35

So true. Yeah. Though, true. Yeah.

Tanya Gill: 00:15:42

And those are the ones that you know, do they, they hold us up when we're feeling down, and they, you know, they offer like i The one thing that's, there's so many things that I love about you, but one of the things that I cherish about you is that you have the ability to step back and see the picture from a different energy. And so it's not just it's not just the way you step back and see the bigger picture of things, but you also do it from a different energy. Like you do it from an energy of peace. Like the outcome is always directed at peace for you. That's how that's how I feel when we can act.

Karen Westwood: 00:16:32

That's beautiful. Thank you, my friend. I love that. I love the word peace.

Karen Westwood: 00:16:38

I know you do. Yeah, yeah. peace at home. Yeah, I love it.

Tanya Gill: 00:16:47

Well, and isn't the interesting thing that he's at home home really is? Right here.

Karen Westwood: 00:16:54

Yeah, that's our piece. I whenever I cuz I use that mantra for a lot for a long time. I haven't. It's nice to remember it. But yeah, for me, it was always pizza at home. And then peace of peace at home like expands to the whole world to write peace, peace in my neighborhood peace in my house peace in my family. It has to start here and extend out.

Tanya Gill: 00:17:19

It's like metta meditation, right? Start with yourself. And then to your family, your community, your city, region, country, you can take it in as many steps as you want until it becomes like that, that sending love meditation to the universe or even beyond.

Karen Westwood: 00:17:41

Exactly, yeah. And we even had you remember, we had peace at home inscribed in our house in a few places. Oh, yeah. And you're dining on a and in the dining room? Yeah. Because I thought it just dad loved it, too. And we just thought if we if we can create peace at home, you know, then then we can really go out into the world. But it starts here. Just maybe having the words will help us.

Tanya Gill: 00:18:09

Well, there's no Well, there's an energy to words we know that right? Or, yeah, and the highest vibration energies are peace, love, joy and gratitude. Yeah. So why would like of course. Logical, my friend glare it right?

Karen Westwood: 00:18:28

Yeah. Right.

Tanya Gill: 00:18:31

That's so awesome. That is so awesome. So my friend as we've been chatting about the evolution of our friendship, and about how we show up for one another, and about, you know, the different ways that we navigate our own lives and, and lean on each other and inspire one another. I'm wondering if you would share with people you know, just a little bit about some of the change that you find yourself navigating right now in your life. And, and how you're moving through that? Because that's real world shit. You know what I mean?

Karen Westwood: 00:19:14

It is wow. I don't even know. So big. So yes, we my daughter and I moved out out here to Victoria from from Lethbridge. A couple of years ago I saw well I guess it's been a year and a half now. I didn't even I didn't even really tell people we were leaving on Sunday because I just we just posted our house for sale and and so many people and I haven't even had the chance to get back to people. I'm slowly trying to tell people what's going on but people didn't we're so surprised, like people haven't even realized that I've left. And just to be clear, Dan and I are together. That's our marriage is good. It's John, it's not about that at all. He has been in Lethbridge with our son, our son is finishing high school. He's been getting the house ready to sell. They're just taking care of business there. And we're making it work we see each other quite frequently. But our daughter Olivia has has had some really significant health issues really significant. And this is something I'm not ready to get into yet. But I suspect we will be having a conversation about it when when the time is right. But we're still sort of in figuring things out. So I don't I don't want to talk about it until we really, things are more solid. But it's been really, really difficult. And where she, I knew that I had to get her out of the setting that she was in for many reasons, we needed to access, support and help in in a place where there was there was more appropriate supports for her. I needed to get her to a place where I felt that she would be happier and more peaceful and more settled. There, there were a lot of a lot of reasons to, to leave and not. I had to get her out. That's all it comes down to I knew that, that that's what we needed to do. And I'm so lucky, so fortunate to have a husband who do I can have conversations with like you and I do we have we have that together. I know that that's that that is not the case in all marriages. But but we're very much, you know, a team in that regard. So we, we both knew that this is what needed to be done and that we would just rearrange our life to accommodate that. And so and so we did, and, and Olivia, my daughter has taught me so much she has made me so strong because I have always had to advocate for her. I have always had to make big decisions and not always popular ones. And not always things that people understand. But I've I've had to set that aside for my own peace. And and that's been a tremendous lesson because it's made me grow up. It's made me strong, right. I have had to, and you're one of the people thank you you. I mean, you and I have had a million conversations about about her and what my next step needs to be and, and you've been such a source of guidance and love when it when it comes to Olivia. But in this sense, since we had to get out and we one winter morning, Olivia, I will never forget it because we just packed our suitcases. It was like minus 30 got into my vehicle like seven in the morning drove to the Lethbridge airport, got on a plane without a return ticket. And, and we haven't we haven't come back just for short visits, but not not to live. And, and much has happened since then. And we're still very much in it. And it's big, and it's serious. And it's important, and we're moving through it. And it's not been easy.

Karen Westwood: 00:23:47

But it was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do to leave it was the right.

Tanya Gill: 00:23:52

Right. Karen I recognize like I really, I really respect and honor that. This is a very personal journey. And yet you're open to sharing the fact that you know, as a parent, recognizing that there was something medical going on for for Olivia, it was like, Okay, we need to simplify life. We need to figure out we need to start looking for the help, we need to get the resources that we need. And, you know, and I think a lot of parents, you know, recognize that they they have to sometimes follow their intuition, if you will, when it comes to their kiddos and their wellness and, you know, like we're, I say things like when we're born. This is terrible, but I think it's true. When we're born the moment we give birth or the moment we become a parent. Yeah, we're like shrouded in this cloak of guilt. Yeah. And we're always trying to do the best that we can for our kiddos, but sometimes we bump up against unknowns, we bump up against things that we're we personally aren't prepared for. Yeah. And, and and then it becomes like how we have to figure out how to show up. And, and also, you know, role model to her. What, what living life fully looks like when it's not perfect. Yeah. Right. Yes.

Karen Westwood: 00:25:33

Yes, absolutely yes. And And don't get me wrong like there were the reason the reason that we sort of did it secretly in the cloak of darkness is because I knew there would be no end to judgment about what we were doing and most people would not get it. We have doctors and hospitals and and counselors and it's but sometimes the knowingness was so strong in me, that, that I had that and you said it so beautifully. I mean, there were there was medical supports here that we that I knew would be preferable for her. I knew that we needed a simpler existence, that it needed to just be her and I in a very structured, simple setting, we needed to get away from all sorts of complexities so that she could heal or that I so that I can even begin to figure out what was even wrong. Right? We needed all the noise and festive life. And this don't like, this is not this is this was about saving her life. This This wasn't a not this wasn't that, you know, she she wasn't getting along with friends or this was big this this was about saving her life. Yes, yeah. Yes. Yeah. And and I get to that, yes, I was in, you know, I could afford to leave, I can work from anywhere. So those are. Not everybody has that. So I had, but I think we all have those moments where we know that we need to do something and, and a path a path is available. And it's we can't take it. It's not easy. But

Tanya Gill: 00:27:22

when and sometimes it's not like the relocation, it's the advocacy, right? Like that. I think that's the other piece of it is that, you know, like, when we are showing up for our kids, and the people we love and our selves, right, there comes a point where it might not be a relocation that is the answer. But it's the it's the way that we choose to advocate. It's the way that we, you know, and you use talk about like with Olivia, this was a this was about fighting for her life. Yes. Right. This This was about this was about saving her life. This was about her existence, if you will. Yeah. And, and I think that we all have to realize that it's always about all our existence. Yes. Right. Like it really is. So, you know, like, there's that quote, like you're one decision from an entirely different life. Right. And, and so I think that it reminds us to be intentional in our lives. Yes.

Karen Westwood: 00:28:34

Yeah. And you and me I don't we've never been afraid of big changes. But but it's in many ways it saved my life too. Because when you make a big change like that, you're reminded that you can because we we get stuck in thinking that we can't that there's all these reasons why we can't but but at any moment we can completely change direction and we don't owe an explanation to really to anybody we can that that can happen when when we're ready for it but and we had just come out of COVID to and and people were making big changes now but that that was a lesson of COVID Too right that that this is this is your one life what do you what are you going to do with it? Right you can just get on a plane and leave and not come back you can you can you can change your job you can you can you can get married, you can leave your marriage you can

Tanya Gill: 00:29:41

you can lean into or out of relationships. You can you know, like there you can you can surrender or you can like white knuckle it like that. And I think that's exactly it right like and I and I'm just gonna come back To this, because you and I are both spiritual. And we talk about how sometimes the universe puts things in place that we don't even see coming. And in this case, like, I just, I want to go back to the fact that when you bought the condo in Victoria, it was not. It was not because Olivia was unwell. And you guys were looking to move to Victoria, it was part of a plan that looked very different. No, right.

Karen Westwood: 00:30:30

No, and I didn't, I haven't talked about any of that. But you're so right. I mean, I could, I could write an entire book on all of that. But truly, and Olivia, and I've talked about this a lot. But there is magic, because goodness, like we it was as if some, you know, the universe took us by the hand and pulled us and there are times where we don't even feel like it's like we're in another realm. Because it's, it's so not us. There are so many signs. And it truly is like, like we are being taken by the hand. And now you do this, now you do this thing. And it just opens up it. Absolutely. And I hesitate to talk about that. Because it might not be everybody's experience. And but but I do know that when you certainly in my life, when something feels right, and I make a decision from here. And I know it's from here, and I know what the right thing is things up. And everybody will be you know, I'm so sorry. And this is so hard. And this is so terrible. And And it'd be like it is but if there's magic everywhere. And it's an the gift in it. And and the way that the path just opens up? Yes. Oh my goodness. Right.

Tanya Gill: 00:32:07

Yes. Yeah. And maybe that really is the message, right? Like, the message is, you know, and is that that we are always moving through hard stuff. Yeah. And it is kind of like that lens that we put on it of whether, you know, first of all, whether or not we're going to take the step, whatever that step is, yeah. And then also, you know, like, can you see the magic in it too, there is magic in it everywhere. And when you feel like and this is the other thing, it's like, you know, that fly analogy, the fly can go against bounce up against the window all day and die in the window, or it can turn and find another open window or an open door and, and find a way out. And and like I think that sometimes the universe is opening doors and windows for us that we don't even realize are possibilities. Yeah, and then all of a sudden, there are shifts and changes and we are being led, you know, where we're supposed to go and I'm not saying like, you know, just hand yourself over to the universe. But do it with like that inner wisdom and knowing and tapping into your intuition. Like even when it's it feels like you're and I'm just going to use it diving for light like when it feels like you're in the darkness and you have to die for the light.

Karen Westwood: 00:33:37

Yes. And it doesn't mean taking steps along the way I when I say open up I don't mean don't do it. There's like to write but as you go along you will see doors open and signs and and I think the successful that everyone truly like if you're religious, I mean it's just a different different language around that. But it's the same thing, right? Yeah,

Tanya Gill: 00:34:01

it is. Whether it's trusting the universe, or Allah or SARS or God or Shiva or shit, like I mean, we can go through all of the gods of the world. At the end of the day, it's it's trusting in potentially something greater than yourself and in yourself. Because you are part of that something greater

Karen Westwood: 00:34:26

because and before this call started you were talking about taping the peony blooming in your garden right and watch slowly unfold because life wants to push us it will. It's just it's such a natural thing that it wants to push us towards blooming, right? Yes. So when when we are open to blooming well when when we're taking those steps then then everything participates.

Tanya Gill: 00:34:57

Right the foliage grows the bulb grow But the answers are still there. And that

Karen Westwood: 00:35:04

and that's the magic, the sunshine, the ants, the the soil, the nutrients, the water, the rain, the rain. That's all the magic, the magic participates in the blooming, but when we don't when we hold back from blooming, that's unnatural. Nothing feels good, right? Yeah.

Karen Westwood: 00:35:25

Exactly. And nothing happens

Karen Westwood: 00:35:27

for us, you get stuck. And then and then we have this creative story that nothing's happening.

Tanya Gill: 00:35:35

And when in reality, we're just losing our patience for it. Right? Yeah. And that's, you know, that has been part of the like, I love using the blooming Peony analogy for life, but, like watching this, but day after day, I'm like, Wow, you really are taking your time. Like, this is a process. This is like you and and I'm also recognizing, I can't force it. Right, like, I'm so excited for this bud to bloom, and I can't force it. And I have no idea what it's really going to look like, in the end. Right? Like, it's got hues. So I know it's going to be pink. But it's going to look like in the end. Yeah, I just have to trust that process.

Karen Westwood: 00:36:26

And lives does the peony, no one is going to look like look at us becoming philosophers here. Does the peony know what it's going to look like? I think we have a, we think we know what our lives are going to look like we have plans. But we could never fathom in a million years, the twists and turns that actually happen that contribute to that blooming, right. Never. And it's it's and you and I were talking about this before the call to because that's a reminder to myself, it's in surrendering that we that we truly facilitate the blooming to

Tanya Gill: 00:37:09

it isn't the surrender. Yeah. And it's the surrender as both the peony and the observer. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So and that's the other reminder is like, for example, you know, Mike, I'll use my own children, right. My own children are in their own season of blooming. I can't force that I can nurture it as best I can. But they will bloom in their time. Yeah. Right. And so I have to surrender as the gardener. Yes, to a certain degree, right. And trust that the soil, the fertilizer, the values, the love, the presence, the way I've is going to help them bloom in their season. Right. And then also as myself as a peony. Right, I have to trust that the steps that I'm taking that the way the universe is showing up and putting different opportunities and situations in my life, that, that it's, it is part of my own season of growing and blooming. And, and I just want to say like, can we just honor the fact that today, first of all, is summer solstice, the longest day of the year, and national indigenous days, persons day. So, you know, like, our original Human habitants of, of these beautiful sacred lands? Yes. Like we we can honor them and all that they've taught us and will continue to teach us as we move forward through life,

Karen Westwood: 00:38:50

and their ability to surrender to the seasons and to nature, right, which we have struggled so much with.

Karen Westwood: 00:39:01

We really do, but they

Karen Westwood: 00:39:04

it's it's just yeah, that that that is something we have not been able to do.

Tanya Gill: 00:39:13

It's a process though, that I think that and I think that's the reminder that we all need is that you know, it's presence and process. Yeah, it creates progress. Yeah, right. It's not the push

Karen Westwood: 00:39:31

No. And the wanting for me often it's wanting to know everything like you know, when is that ad going to come and is it going to rain this week and right, I'd want to know it all they want to know when and they want to know how and

Tanya Gill: 00:39:48

you want to know which gardeners are gonna come along this soil and

Karen Westwood: 00:39:53

and that's not how nature works.

Tanya Gill: 00:39:56

That is not how nature works. We are active parts dissipates, but we also have to be able to surrender. Yes. Right. And that's not balanced. That's harmony. That's allowing the flow in, and the flow out and trusting the flow.

Karen Westwood: 00:40:16

Yes, trusting the flow, posting.

Tanya Gill: 00:40:21

Good, this conversation. It's gorgeous. It is beautiful, isn't it? And this is the way we talk all of the time.

Karen Westwood: 00:40:28

Dating, people are like, really no good thing we found each other.

Tanya Gill: 00:40:34

Well, and, you know, I think that that's why I really wanted to share share you with the world, because, because we all have these unique friendships, and I wanted to kind of show the uniqueness of our friendships, the way that we have these kinds of philosophical, spiritual, real world talks about our lives, and support one another in that. And also, like, you know, I, I really respect and honor and love you, the person that you are, today, you know, that the journey that we've had together is magnificent, I have no idea where our journey is going. But I trust that it's magnificent, but the person you are today, and, and, and I want to save this, and I want to acknowledge you as Mia now, so if you've read, if our listeners have read the book, or if people are watching this, they will see the name Karen on the screen. But Karen has kind of moved into a new persona, if you will. And that new persona is Mia. And I think that it is so powerful, and so beautiful, that you are embracing kind of a different identity of yourself.

Karen Westwood: 00:42:04

Right. Right. Thank you my friend. Yeah, well, I mean, it just it started you know, just that Starbucks, what's your name, so they can write your name on your cup. Karen is not a popular name these days. So it's it was getting all just even saying my name there's that little bit of embarrassment right and you make a joke about it but that's not how you should be presenting yourself and feeling about your name so so there was that coupled with just what this next phase of life is requiring from me is is more and bigger than I've ever had to be. And so it felt like there was a lot that I needed to shed and a lot of worrying about what people think and and get it just getting stronger personally and and that I needed I needed to step into a new me to be able to handle what's to come and me I felt like she could do it and not just that but Olivia that I would when we first were out here we because we were just It was very strange. First of all, you know, having a big a big messy house and cooking and cleaning and and running managing a family and all that to all of a sudden being launched into us tiny condo and ordering in you know, skip the dishes and, and not just to completely different existence like the only thing I could liken it to was back in university it just was more selfish, right? More more contained more. So all of a sudden I had time to explore and living I would laugh about it. Oh meow meow drinks coffee can drink tea but me drinks coffee. Me Mia watches trashy TV Karen never had time for that but me me I love selling sunset care. So we and you know the funnier the better. Right and I was just ready to explore all of this silly stuff that just felt nourishing to the you know, it was like all of a sudden there was there was it felt like there's time and energy to explore parts of myself that I hadn't for a long time or that were new. So we would always we would constantly laugh and call that meow meow cross stitches in the evening you know Karen did laundry whatever

Tanya Gill: 00:44:43

see and not it's awesome because we can I would I love about it and why I wanted to share me with with our listeners is because I think that we all have those other sides of us inside and when we like I know I do it with the inner Credit. Right? But why can't we do it with the with the fun, authentic, powerful? Other, you know, and maybe that is, for me, maybe that is just Tanya, but maybe it's somebody else a different name or identity as well. Why aren't we playing with that? Why aren't we embracing that juiciness of life? Yes. Right?

Karen Westwood: 00:45:23

Yeah. Well, that's just it. It's like, it's weird. But it's it's like permission to embrace the juiciness of life because you're somebody else.

Karen Westwood: 00:45:34

Because you're somebody else.

Karen Westwood: 00:45:35

Yeah. And that that new person can do anything like they can start over basically, you're not trapped by anything that Karen used to do.

Tanya Gill: 00:45:46

That's beautiful. Beautiful. And you know, the amazing thing about it is, is that it can be a choice, right? Like, yes, it can be the way you decide to show up at the farmers market. Yeah, and turn it into a game for yourself for half an hour of, of playing with a different personality or persona or experience of yourself. And it doesn't have to be inauthentic. That's 100% authentic?

Karen Westwood: 00:46:15

No. And it's, it's, it's super playful. Like, as you're saying that I imagined doing it with kids, right? Like, you could say that let's be somebody different today. And then really explore the playfulness of that, you know, what?

Tanya Gill: 00:46:29

Explore the different sides of who we are, right? We, you know, we are multifaceted beings. So why can't we explore the multiple sides of who we are in, in our daily lives. In our daily lives, Mia, my beautiful friend, thank you so much for sharing your soul, your heart, your energy, the beauty that you are with our listeners, it's such an honor to me to be able to share you with the worlds this way. And also thank you for sharing about your journey with Olivia and, and how you're choosing to show up in the world because you are inspiring my friend, Erin inspiring.

Karen Westwood: 00:47:21

I love you so much. And I'm so grateful. And this was so much fun. And I feel like there's so many future conversations. And, and I do I want to share more and and I will as time goes on.

Tanya Gill: 00:47:36

I love it. And you know, and that's exactly it in time. You know, life is a growth path. Yeah. And you know, as we grow more, we know more, and I just am so grateful to be on this planet in this time. And connected to you is just such a gorgeous gift. Or it's just

Tanya Gill: 00:47:59

gift. Thank you.

Tanya Gill: 00:48:02

I love you so much. Oh, I love you so, so much, Karen. And you know, like, I don't want to stop sharing you with our listeners. I want to keep sharing you with our listeners. But I also recognize that they're probably listening to this thinking, what a wildly cool friendship. And hopefully they're taking away some bits and pieces that they can see in their own lives and recognize the goodness in their worlds because that's what it's about, right? We are a collective. We're all here for a reason. Let's make the most of it and let's really enjoy life in the process.

Karen Westwood: 00:48:41

Absolutely. Yes.