Conversation with A Sex Trafficker’s Wife with Amanda Quick

Tanya Gill: 00:00:00

My friends get ready for quite an episode. She was a loving housewife. He was a hard working husband. Together, they shared three precious boys. Their marriage wasn't perfect, but there was love between them. And it worked. Right until that fateful day when it all fell apart. This is the story of Amanda, who through no fault of her own, found herself caught up by the darkest, most insidious corners of the criminal world of sex trafficking minors. Her husband, the man she loved, and the father of her children was a criminal. And when it all came down, she was left holding the pieces. She's written a book for the women left in the shadows and the aftermath. For the spouses and partners who lose everything in an instant, but still have to keep going. Navigating through complex legal systems, coming to terms with betrayal, and somehow holding it all together for the kids, the one nobody talks about except in hushed whispers. With a remarkably candid tone and a clear explanation of events and facts. Amanda pulls back the curtain on what happens to those left behind once the perpetrator is caught. Her book is much more than a memoir. But this conversation is powerful, my friends, it is real, it is raw, and it is inspiring. I trust it will land on your heart in so many ways. Welcome, my friends, I am so honored to be able to share our next guest with you. It's important to me that I let you know that there may be a trigger warning for the topic that we're about to talk about. Amanda quick has a book coming out in January, January, if you did not know is Sex Trafficking Awareness Month in the US. And Amanda comes with a very personal story of learning in 2016 that her husband was involved in the sex trafficking trade. And Amanda joins us with inspiration and insight and a giant heart. And I'm just grateful to be able to share you and share space with you, Amanda, thank you.

Amanda Quick: 00:02:44

Thank you so much for having me.

Tanya Gill: 00:02:46

So, Amanda, our podcast is obviously called lighten up and unstuck your What the fuck? And learning that your husband was a sex trafficker involved in sex trafficking and being a mother with three children. Correct? Does kind of it's impossible to to not have like, What the fuck?

Amanda Quick: 00:03:10

Yep.

Tanya Gill: 00:03:12

Tell us a little bit about how you learned that he was involved.

Amanda Quick: 00:03:17

So yes, in 2016, I just to set the stage here. I was a stay at home mom. I hadn't worked in six years. My kids were one. Born five. My youngest was still nursing and all of the things. And you know, my whole life was my kids. Really, at that point? You three kids. That's the focus. And my, my husband at the time, was working full time working long hours. And he always was kind of a workaholic. And he traveled for work. And, you know, we thought things were okay. You know, we had young kids, so we didn't connect as much as we wanted to, but I justified it with, you know, we had young kids, and he works long hours. And I was grateful for the financial support because it meant I didn't have to work and and so while things weren't, like amazing, I thought they were good. And then one day, he doesn't come home. He was supposed to meet his mom after work to do some things and pick up some stuff and he just doesn't doesn't show up. And I eventually went to bed. I was like, I don't know where he is. I don't know what's going on. He often got sidetracked with work projects and just make mommy and so I went to bed. And then at 2am he still wasn't home. And I called the hospitals. I said, what's going on? They didn't have him. They didn't have anybody. And then at 5am I called dispatch the non emergency line and they transferred me to the jail. And that's when I learned that he had been arrested for attempted human trafficking and had a $250,000 bond. And I went What the fuck? What does that even mean? I didn't even know what that meant. Like I had A Google, what does that mean? Because I thought in my head, I had this, like shipping containers picture. And it was like we, we were comfortable. We had we had, we had money, he had a good job, like I didn't understand what was going on. And it took some time. And eventually, I learned that what had happened, it was a sting operation. And he was offered an 11 and 14 year old to meet for sex, and he showed up. And so I started to learn that it more what that actually means what human trafficking actually means. It's not just this shipping containers across the border scenario, it's the human sex trade, essentially. And so, talk about a shocker. Talk about a world exploded, oh, my god, what am I going to do? And, you know, there was a period of time where I was like, it would almost have been better if he was dead in a ditch like that. That's the kind of impact this this event had on myself and my kids. Not that. Not that you want to wish that on anybody. But this was big. And this was public. It was in the newspaper, you know, all of the friends and family, everything. And, you know, he lost his job, everything changed.

Tanya Gill: 00:06:12

So I know that our listeners are having a reaction because I'm having an allergic reaction. I'm covered in goosebumps right now. There's a part of me that wants to throw up. And there's a part of me that wants to like scream and like lose my ever loving mind. And so I know that our listeners are having that experience as well. And the truth is that I can't even imagine, it is impossible to even imagine what that experience would have been like for you now. With young children at home, learning that he had been arrested to go and meet children. What was your reaction to that?

Amanda Quick: 00:06:57

So this is the part that gets this harder to talk about. Because imagine, it's harder to talk about things here. But there are because I was in a place where I was financially dependent. I was on my own with three kids by myself. And I was terrified of what that meant. I was terrified that I was going to be responsible for three kids on my own all of a sudden. And I also was carrying a ton of my own trauma about my dad taking off when I was a child, and my kids not having their a dad and me having it done. And I was running all of that in my system. And so the truth is, it did not once occurred to me at that point in time to leave. It didn't, it didn't even cross my mind. The only thought I had was there has to be an explanation. There has to be some other reason there has to be another another thing here. Because this didn't feel like him is what didn't make sense. I could not I could not see that this was a possibility. And so I shut out so much of what was actually happening. Because in my own self, it was unacceptable for me to leave and what I believed would be taking my children away from their father. That was the trauma I was holding from my own history. And so my reaction was actually to stay and to support him through his criminal trial. And to stand by him and believe his version of events because his version of events was very, very different. His version of events was this. They offered me kids and I didn't think it was real. And I needed to figure out if it was real, so I could report it version of events. And he admitted to adult prostitutes. And so in my head, it was like he was in trouble for something that he didn't actually do. And for something way worse. And so I had to it was this obligatory. We have to stand by our our family and our and our person, type of energy. And so I stayed in the marriage. And I stayed in the marriage until through his criminal trial. And then I went, I went back to work, because somebody needed to, eventually and I recognized that I needed to figure out how to not be dependent upon him anymore. And then once I went back to work, I started to see that I couldn't be in a marriage anymore. I couldn't be with somebody like that anymore. And once the separation started, the mental health issues, and him started to exasperate and I started to see the truth of the deviances. And I started see the truth of what had actually happened. And I started to see my own kids in danger. And I started to actually understand that this was happening in my life. And there was all of the red flags all over the place. And I chose not to see them. And so I had to get myself out of being the victim and I had to say I need to do something about this now. I need to I need to change I need to because the truth was his offense history did not amount to enough evidence because I had stayed for me to gain full custody. It wasn't automatic. I had an 18 month long, nasty custody battle with the state of Colorado. And, and him and all the lawyers because because they stayed and showed support I had deemed him safe. And so I had then had to basically prove that that was not true, and that he was no longer safe for our children in that moment. And so, the Journey, the book takes people through that entire thing. It takes people through my thought process, because I'm not the only one out there whose husband knows some some crazy stuff, and they don't know how to leave, they don't know how to leave. And even when something like that happens, people are like, how could you have stayed? I didn't, I truly didn't see another option at the time, it didn't even occur to me.

Tanya Gill: 00:10:38

Well, and there are two pieces to this. And I think it's really important that we just we talk about this, because it is very common for especially women to judge other women for their choices. And, and as people are listening, you know, I just want to invite people, if you're listening, and you find yourself in a place of judgment around some of what Amanda is sharing, I just want you to take a step back. And remember that, that because of what we come with, from the moment we are born, our decisions are so navigated, and so directed by our environment, the people we're around the stories, we tell ourselves, all of these things, right? I talk about the trifecta of joy, the trifecta of joy is awareness, befriending your inner critic and raising your bud. And the unfortunate fortunate part around awareness is that awareness opens things up in such a different way. So one day, you had no idea that your husband was involved in any of this, and you just thought you were a young family with young kids that may have had an on and off again, sexual relationship, but for the most part, things were pretty solid. And then the next day, you are finding out something completely different. The attempt to reconcile those work worlds is it is impossible for anyone to understand unless you've actually been there. And I really appreciate that you've talked about that experience of trying to reconcile those worlds and saying it didn't fit. Right didn't fit. And, and, and this is where I come from a place of compassion, because I think many of us like to believe that we would have the strength, the wherewithal the call, and I hate the word strength because it actually, it's actually the vulnerability to be able to navigate whatever was coming. And for you to be able to say, okay, my decision is to believe my husband, because how long were you married?

Amanda Quick: 00:12:47

We were married for six years, but hadn't been together for probably nine at the time. Okay, so

Tanya Gill: 00:12:51

you had like a long relationship with Him. You had a young family, and you were 100% dependent on him. Right? And so putting all of those pieces together, of course, every cell in your body was trying to reconcile how to return to what you knew as normal the night you went to bed.

Amanda Quick: 00:13:10

Right, exactly. I mean, this the idea of safety and normalcy and all of it.

Tanya Gill: 00:13:17

All of those pieces, all of those pieces. I mean, there's so so many layers to this. Now, one of the things that I want to talk about those this is the section is the trafficking because most exactly when people think human trafficking, we often think of people coming over boat people and then shipping containers. So the kind of trafficking he was involved in, how would you describe that?

Amanda Quick: 00:13:44

It basically paying for sex with children sex with and by doing that by participating in that, that is trafficking, because they're selling the use of people. They're selling the use of people's bodies. And so by paying for that, that access, especially when it's children who cannot consent to such things, it's considered trafficking.

Tanya Gill: 00:14:08

And of course, as mothers like I'm having a reaction as a mother as well, because the thought of someone paying to have sex with my child is is a little overwhelming how did you navigate your relationship with him while you remained in that marriage?

Amanda Quick: 00:14:32

So again, this is a this is probably this is the part that had the most shame around it around it for me to actually then come out and share this part of the story. Because most people see that and they have the visceral reaction and they have the oh my god, and you know, the pitchforks come out. Most people have that response. And but you have to remember for me my entire world my entire safety dependent on my my bubble of fam least staying together. And so once I got over the shock of it, and once I was like, Okay, we're gonna get through this and this is whatever getting through this meant one foot in front of the other hire the lawyers hire the helpline or whatever. What actually happened is, it became so protective for me to stay inside that family bubble. And so I shut the entire world out, it was only me and him and the kids against the world is basically what it felt like. And he was in my ear, and all times we were on the phone, 24/7 and I the psychological effects that that had on me, I couldn't have my own thoughts. And it turned it actually created this, almost like second honeymoon of sorts between us because it was us against the world. And I was so shut off from everybody else, nobody else understood, all I could feel was judgments from everybody else, that the only person who could understand what was going through was the person causing the trauma. And so it's it's almost like, in a sense, what happens to kidnapping victims, when they're protective of the person who caused the pain, because that's their whole world. And so,

Tanya Gill: 00:16:11

and this is innocent, the power of trauma bonding, too, right? So, so trauma bonding can happen from the perspective of two people sharing a common trauma. In this case, the common trauma was the accusation and or fight, if you will, that need to insulate you against the world. Right. And, and, and I think it's important that we help listeners understand or our viewers understand that when you have someone in your ear like that, right? Who, there's so much manipulation and control that can actually seem like love, connection, adoration. And so when you describe the second honeymoon, I can understand, like, I understand that, but can you help our listeners understand what that second honeymoon looked like for you like, what, what was your connection, like in that space,

Amanda Quick: 00:17:13

so it what it felt like is because we were also while he was on bond, while he was before the trial was over, he wasn't allowed around our children. And so it was like, I would hire a babysitter to go see him and spend time with him. It was I could anything I could do to spend more time we stayed on the phone 24/7. So we could stay connected. So he could feel like a part of the family. If I had a thought, if I had a feeling arise in me, it was immediately shut down, I wasn't allowed to feel anger or sadness, or upsetness. If I hung up the phone, he would drive to the house and cards and flowers and love bombing all over the place because he was changed. Now he was going to heal and be better. And so it shut down any amount of I'm upset, and I need to process and instead it turned into, no, we're gonna do this together, we're going to be the family you always wanted. And the truth was, all I had wanted my whole marriage was my husband to actually pay attention to me. And here he was doing it. And so it was like, why did this all have to happen for you to actually pay attention to me. And so there was this, there was so many layers and layers of what that looked like. And I wanted to reconnect, I wanted the family. He was paying more attention to me. And eventually, we got supervised visitation, and he was able to see the kids. And he paid more attention to them. And he got on the floor and played with them. And it was all like all of a sudden I had this beautiful family I wanted and so I focused on that I focused on okay, we can get through this, we can get through this together. And I couldn't see how how really messed up the whole situation was because I was in it. Like we can't see when we're inside those things. The rest of the world, the rest of the judgment is like we push it away because we can't we can't see from that perspective yet.

Tanya Gill: 00:18:59

And obviously from that perspective, it like it sounds like it's it felt really fucking good to be able to do that connection. And, and then and I know people have this experience of believing then. Okay, we had to go through this horrible thing in order to be able to bring us together. This is the gifts that comes from this trauma. When did you realize that you needed to actually part ways from him and that this wasn't healthy.

Amanda Quick: 00:19:34

So I went back to work in 2017, after after his offense after he pled guilty. Essentially he pled guilty to attempted solicitation of a minor. He only received probation. That's that's a whole nother rant. We can have that ramp later. He only received probation. And he was it was very obvious that he was not going to be able to from mental health perspective go back to work. He worked in IT security. Nobody was going to hire him after a felony like that. contract work was difficult. So I decided, okay, it's been six years, it's time to not be dependent anymore. I had this desire to go back and not just be mom and wife. And no, I wasn't going to make the same kind of money he made, but it was a start. And so I went back to work in 2017. And at first, it was a lot of fun. He played, he would play almost like, like House Husband, he couldn't take the kids to school, but he could have them at home. And so I would do the drop offs and pickups and he would make dinner and he kept the baby. And, you know, it seemed like it was fine. But what I found myself doing is while I was at work, my family didn't exist, I couldn't talk about it, I couldn't share anything, I was terrified that they would put together my last name with what they read in the paper a year ago. And they were going to, I was somehow going to be attached to this. And so it's like, as soon as they stepped out of the bubble, and I and I looked at the bubble is like, Oh, I don't want to be connected to that. So I had a created this work life that people knew I had a husband and kids but I never said his name not once to any coworkers to anything it was I focused on just my job. And, and so that was this separation started to happen. Like it started to crumble because I was stepping out and having a life outside of the bubble. And, and so the more I engaged with work, and the more that happened, and then found myself attracted to a co worker. And that's actually what ended up started to crumble it. And as I, I started to feel like I, I couldn't be, I couldn't have a sexual relationship with somebody who had cheated on me like that. And it had felt like every time he looked at me, I could, I could feel feel the other people in the room, I had this thought running through my head, that's how he looked at them. Like it just every single time he would look at me in a in a romantic way it was it just got grossed out. And so I started to push away and I started to be like, Oh, I'm interested over here. And I'm interested over here. And, and I know what it's like to be cheated on. So I'm not going to I'm not going to do this in secret. And I told him, I came out with it and said that I was I was gonna go explore what that meant. And, and I was no longer interested in a romantic relationship with him because I wasn't okay. And I hadn't been okay the whole time. But I was just now realizing how not okay, I was. And so he react? Well, so at first he was like, stay with me, and we're gonna make this work. And then eventually, pretty quickly, he got to where it was like, Well, I think he had this idea that I would just get it out of my system. And because of what he did, you know,

Tanya Gill: 00:22:35

I just getting it out of his Yeah, it i Do you believe that some people can justify things like that. You know, I, if you have an open marriage, and it works for you, I'm not here to judge that if you choose to step outside of, of your committed relationship, everybody involved should be on the same page, you went to him and he was supportive of it.

Amanda Quick: 00:22:59

He was he wanted me to he wanted me to stay in work on the marriage. And then eventually he was like, You go get another system, he really didn't want to move out he really didn't want to. And he pushed it all of my obligatory family don't want to rip the kids lives apart. They had been through so much already. So he wanted to stay living in the same house, while I dated. And talk about messy, talking about messy very messy. But I also didn't want to blow my family up, I felt like all of a sudden, I was gonna be responsible for the family blowing up. And I took all of that on on top of everything else. And so I dated. And then eventually I ended up getting promoted. And I was going to be my boyfriend's boss. And so I had to break up with him. And he wanted to re he wanted to get back together, he took this as a Oh, you got it out your system. Okay, we're gonna figure this out again. And I had I was my whole system repelled him at that point it was, I could see it start to see the manipulative behaviors that had been coming out, I had started to see the things he had said to the children that were against me that alienation attempts started already at that point. Because because I had left him he told the kids I left them, because it it made me feel like in order to spend time away from my husband, I had to spend time away from my children as well. And so I didn't, I couldn't connect with my kids in the same way because he would never leave, he would never go anywhere. And the only choice was to go to the My boyfriend's house, which meant I was choosing my boyfriend over my kids. And he would install that belief in them. My son, my youngest at the time, he was three and he said Mommy, are you going to? Are you going to go move away and have babies with somebody else and never see us again? Like my three year old sent that to me. And so I started to see this, this manipulation coming forward and I was disgusted by it. And so I hugely repelled him. And I was like, No, we're not getting back together. No, I don't want to separate like the kids and go back and forth all the time. I don't know how to do With this, I didn't understand how to do this. He had huge restrictions. He couldn't go the kids schools, he couldn't be around other children, he could just be around his children. And so there was there was so much there. Eventually, he actually filed for divorce. He filed for divorce, because he wanted to use that to scare me. He filed for divorce as a power and control dynamic, because then he filed to try to kick me out of the house, he wanted me to move because he was the primary parents. That's what he said. So he started to use the legal system to push me around. And that's when I started to really it just started to get worse and worse and worse, that was the beginning of like I said, an 18 month long, really, really difficult custody fight. Because he was trying to establish that he was he was in treatment he was doing well, he could have 5050, it was no problem, nevermind all of the mental health issues, nevermind all of the things. And the way the court system is set up that unless you can prove that the parent is in danger to these children today. And not just in a protective way, because the system is not protective. It is punitive only and so if something has happened, has to have happened. Something that you can prove that has happened. And so I, I had a huge fight ahead of myself, because I had stayed because I had supported. And a lot happened in that 18 months. The things that my kids told me and and my mama bear came out. And, you know, I the amount of I just want to take my kids and Ron was so strong in me. But I couldn't do that I knew that would make it worse. And so I just had to keep going and I had to trust. And I had to and that really is what kicked off my own spiritual awakening. And in a sense, because it I started to realize how much power I did have. And I had to stop giving my power to the systems and the evaluators and the lawyers and the people because that was the whole issue in the first place is I was giving my power away to everybody else, my ex husband, all of the people, because I didn't know what to do, because it didn't make sense. I just did you figure it out? You figured out it's too hard. It's too complicated. And that was that was going to have a very scary outcome. And I had to shift, I had to shift myself to say, no, no, this is what's going to happen. And how are you gonna help me do that?

Tanya Gill: 00:27:19

I love that you talk about personal power, you know, again, the point at which you came to the awareness that it was time to make change that meant exiting that marriage. And I hate the word breaking up because we use that, or breaking up the family, you know, and what I say is protecting the family in a different way. Right? Because that's what we do, right? We protect our belief protect our people in different ways. So making coming to the choice and the decision around. Around that is a huge awareness piece. Now, you talked about the shame. You talked about the shame that you experienced as a result of the choices that you've made. And it's really important that we talk about what shame is because when someone blames someone, it says that what you did is bad, right? So if you felt like you were blaming yourself, it was like, oh, what I did was that shame is a different. It's a totally different beast, because shame is that feeling that you are bad. And in the insular bubble that you described, that was that family where he controlled everything inside that bubble? You know, it, it sounds like it felt safe to a certain degree, it sounds like it was like this is what I signed up for our relationship might be working. Once you once you invited yourself outside of that bubble and started looking in from other people's eyes. And that experience your awareness expanded and changed. Your inner critic, though. Like your inner critic has done a lot of work and I can hear that. What would you what would you say to someone who said, you know, like, I have to stay in this I have no option. Well, and that's people said that to me.

Amanda Quick: 00:29:08

So many people said that to me. And I couldn't hear it. It was like they were speaking to a brick wall. I was like, but I love him. But it's my family. But I have to, like, I literally could not hear them. And this is the hardest. The hardest thing is that they're not ready until they're ready. They're not you cannot force somebody to the more judgment you place, the more feels like it's judgment to them. Even if that's not what your attempt is. The more that gets directed, the more they shut you down. The more they're like, Well, I can't talk to you. You don't understand. The only people I let in were the people who are compassionate understanding and who recognize that they don't know what it's like to have three kids with somebody that you don't know what it's like so they can't judge my choices. Those are the people that felt safe to talk to. And those are the people that eventually as I started to question myself, I was able to reach out to and be like I'm not comfortable with this, or what can I do here. And it wasn't about, it wasn't about judgment anymore. It was about the whole thing I needed to hold space for my own awareness and my own unfoldment. Because you can't, you can't force anybody to change. You can't force anybody to heal or force anybody to see a new perspective until they they want to say it's the hardest thing to do as healers and helpers,

Tanya Gill: 00:30:24

as healers and helpers, when I'm so grateful that you shared that the most important piece is holding space, because it's really important that we understand that if we have someone in our lives, who we see, having an experience that we can't understand, and we don't align with, but we love that person, it really is making the choice to be there for when that person is ready. And, and along the road to support them in in where they are in that journey. It was their trust in you and your spirit to move through this that that encouraged them to stay the course for you. And that's the most important piece of this. Right. Yeah. Now, your story is unbelievable. And your book is coming out in January. Your book is called The sex traffickers wife. Correct? And I, I mean, I can't wait to read it. I know that it's going to be an unbelievably hard read. However, before we started this podcast, Amanda, you shared that you are now living in a different state. And you are apart from your children's father, correct?

Amanda Quick: 00:31:48

I have I have full custody. We have not heard from him in over two years. So it ends well.

Tanya Gill: 00:31:56

And that's what I was really important to me is that are that are we that our listeners and your future readers understand that this story does and well. Now, it does not mean, however, that there aren't layers of trauma that come with that. And practice that experience for you has been around a spiritual awakening, and around stepping into your own light and owning your own personal power.

Amanda Quick: 00:32:24

Correct, Correct.

Tanya Gill: 00:32:26

How would you describe that experience of spiritual awakening and owning your own power? Because this is the vibration? This is raising the vibe this Yes. Juicy magic part?

Amanda Quick: 00:32:36

Yes. So what ended up I was actually guided to see a psychic when I didn't believe in such things at all. At the time. My regular therapist guy like said, Hey, you should go to cop talk to this person. And I was like, Are they real. But I went to see the psychic. And the psychic was READING A reading a past life of mine where I was in this relationship, and it ended very poorly. And my entire body had this huge reaction where I could I understood in that moment that the fear that I was carrying from him was not of this moment, and that he hadn't physically beat me in this moment. But he had in previous ones. And that's part of why I was so terrified. And I had to make a choice that I was going to be completely done with that pattern, completely done. And I had to stand up to him. And I had to collapse everybody else's opinions about what needed to happen. I had to collapse his about us getting back together, I had to collapse this idea that he could heal and we could have a family again, I had to collapse the systems ideas of what was right and what was wrong. And I had to say, No, I'm done. And I meant it. And I had to proceed with very different energy. And the energy that I proceeded with was the this is the only outcome, the safety and security for myself and my children is the only outcome I'm gonna allow, who can help me do that. And what unfolded at that, from that moment was miraculous. Six weeks later, I had full custody. And it was like, boom, things shifted. I got I got connections from ice to Homeland Security to the DHS and the case files and, like so much happened so fast that I had the stack of evidence, I had like a three inch binder full of evidence for my court hearing. And I was able to get the protections in place that I needed. And then six weeks after the court hearing was the last time we had we ever heard from him again. And it wasn't the unfoldment of what I thought was going to happen. I wanted just protections in place and and more therapy and supervised visits until things made sense again, but instead what I got is freedom. And I got complete freedom from all of it. And yes, my children have lost a parent and that that is its own trauma. But I have the freedom to have space and to move and you know I don't give two shits that he doesn't pay child support. I don't care. I want him to stay over there because that means that we are safe. That means all of the trauma and stuff in his body is not affect To my kids anymore. And we can work through healing in our own way. And so stepping into that place and recognizing that in that moment, it took me six weeks, and I had all of a sudden had more than I could have asked for, gave me this understanding that I can do anything. If I can create safety and security for myself and my kids, I can literally do anything. And that send me down this, okay, you guys can talk to spirits, I want to do that, too. I want to understand the truth of the universe, like my world exploded, all of the quantum physics understandings all of the, like, all of it, I needed all of it. And so it sent me and then, of course, COVID happened two weeks after my divorce hearing. And so the universe gave me this is time to go learn all the things. And so I stepped into quantum healing, I stepped into energy work, I stepped into all of these understandings, because I needed to know more. I had done the impossible, so I needed to do more that

Tanya Gill: 00:35:57

gift from this. So I and you know, I think that we often are like, Oh, everything happens for a reason. And then a lot of us are like, Oh my god, don't say that. Because I know, when my first husband passed away, I actually had someone say to me, everything happens for a reason. And all I could all I wanted to do was throw punch them, right? You know, it's like, fuck you. And you know, perfectly imperfect. But WTF? WTF is obviously what the fuck? There's also a piece of WTF that is, what is this for? Yes. And I am not ever going to minimize your experience and no one would, that you stepped into your personal power. And gave over it, there are two pieces. One is the ability to let go and say, I have to hand this over and let go of some of the things that aren't serving my highest good. The other piece is accepting and receiving the help that you invite from the universe, God, Allah, you pick your you pick your name, you pick your brand, we're all just, you know, and you pick your brand. And being willing to hand it over in a way that is trusting and loving. And at the exact same time understand that that personal power is within. And the more you tap into that the greater your own personal power grows, which is exactly what I'm hearing you say, yes. I already know that we have to continue this conversation. And what is so cool is that your book is coming out in January. So we're going to run this podcast before January and then we're going to have you back. Perfect. Is that okay? Are you open to coming back?

Amanda Quick: 00:37:53

absolutely open to it. I have so many stories, so many downloads, so many vertices that I've just as far and wide as I can reach. And I know that I have this huge, impactful message that can catalyze people to their own personal power because we can't fix the world by ourselves. Not not one singular person can do this. But if we can empower everybody to operate from their personal power from operate to their, from their heart from the place that that can bring down the things that we haven't yet seen and we're not operating from memory and all of our past trauma anymore. Like that's how we change the world. So I'm in for it.

Tanya Gill: 00:38:28

I love it. So next time we have a conversation about unity consciousness. And this time we talk about the crazy fucking world have the sex traffickers wife, Amanda I'm so glad that your story has a happy and happy midpoint because this isn't the ending either. This is probably another beginning which is so exciting and beautiful. It now our listeners are going to want to find you okay, what is the best place to find you,

Amanda Quick: 00:39:03

Amanda quick healing.com is my website you can sign up there for book of deeds. So I will share when pre releases and all of that start. You can also find ways to work with me one on one if you would like there I also am on all of the all of the platforms Amanda quick healing is my tag across the board.

Tanya Gill: 00:39:22

Perfect Amanda quick healing.com My friends. Amanda's story is unbelievable. And you definitely are going to want to read it and and this is an incredibly powerful story and I think you know one of the things is that we hear about it in the news but we don't think about how it affects families directly and and what impact it has. And again you know the the message around judgment and around around control. There are so many things that our listeners can take from Unless so much that you've offered in your own vulnerable experience what I want to thank you for is your vulnerability. Vulnerability is the greatest strength I really truly believe that because from vulnerability we can find seek and grow power in authentic ways. Amanda Do you have any closing advice that you would give to our readers about moving through change

Amanda Quick: 00:40:40

the biggest the biggest thing if I give give one gift to the world like it just glitter dust all over the world it would be that everybody trusted themselves first. Right that's what I want I want glitter dust around and I want people to trust themselves first because we find ourselves in situations the world shit happens and you have to operate from your own inner knowing first stop giving away your power and your decisions to everybody around you. Stop giving it away to the systems and the government's and the family members and the everybody you operate from you. You trust you first your body, your soul it knows it knows and if you operate from trusting self first you will never let yourself down. You will never question I should have because if you you know and you operate from that place that's that's where magic happens.