Finding Joy in Darkness with Gloria Sarpong

Tanya Gill: 00:00:00

You know what my friends in the world we have the opportunity to meet some of the most interesting and amazing people. And I was recently in Dallas. And when I was in Dallas, I hired an Uber because that's what you do to get from the airport to your hotel. And today, I want to introduce you to my Uber driver. Her name is Gloria Sarpong. Now, glorious story is awesome. And what is so awesome about Gloria story is that she is really about rising above, and believing and, and finding joy in darkness. And Gloria originates from Ghana, and moved to the United States when she was nine. So Gloria, thank you for being here.

Gloria Sarpong: 00:01:01

Thank you for having me.

Tanya Gill: 00:01:03

I you know, I think about you so often. And I know that I mean, you Uber driving is not the only thing you do. Let's talk about some of the other things you do first of all

Gloria Sarpong: 00:01:17

Yes So I am a licensed nurse. And I'm also students trying to advance you know, in my nursing career, and I do love music, I'm a songwriter, i sing I have a couple of music out just about to. I serve in my church, I love children. And I believe I'm happily married.

Tanya Gill: 00:01:54

Well, I love to hear that you believe you're happily married? Because you know what, if you believe you're happily married, that's a big piece of it. That is a big piece of it. Now, here's the cool thing. On the trifecta of joy podcast, we talk about awareness, befriending your inner critic and raising your vibration. And interestingly enough, I am going to have an opportunity to review someone who wrote a book by the name of Dr. Jody Carrington. And I'm actually going to be interviewing her after I interview you today. Wow. And, and her book is actually it's right here under my, this is under my banana. Oh, it's her book. And it's called feeling seen. And feeling seen. And you know, what was so interesting about feeling seen was that, I noticed that in this book, it was about connection. It was about help my acronym, honor, empathy, love and presence. And when we create that space, we create these magnificent spaces for incredible conversation. And the incredible conversation that you and I shared as you drove me to the hotel. Yes. was unbelievable. Now, you told me this story of a little girl. Will you share that story with our listeners? Yes.

Gloria Sarpong: 00:03:28

Yes Oh, um, should I tell it the same way I told you about the little girl.

Tanya Gill: 00:03:35

You tell it however, feels right for you, my love. I once knew a little girl who

Gloria Sarpong: 00:03:41

I once knew a Little girl very young and mine came was adopted and danos. She thought, Hey, these are my parents. I'm going to be with them. We're going to America, we're going to start a new life. And then soon as we get to the airport, a lot of girls told, Hey, you're gonna be with your mom. And I was like, Oh, hey, I mean, sure. I'm like, I thought you were my mom and dad. And so that's okay, though. Apparently. I you know, in Ghana, we often call older people, older adults, males die, or, you know, females MA and stuff. So, get to the airport, and I'm introduced to my mom. And so I'm like, Okay, so from the airport. It was an introduction of Yeah, hi. Yeah. Bad girl. Welcome. You're not even welcome. This little bad girl, whatever. And then we had home hits in the Bronx. And and the nightmare began. So this little girl All the little Gloria just didn't know what was happening and unfortunately going through some misfortunes of molestation back home to family members or both male and female that's sort of us and my mom says, you know, you kind of smell like you've slept with people or slept with someone and are you messing with my boyfriend was you know, she lived with a boyfriend and they had a child together and, and I just didn't know I was clueless. I didn't know what was going on. And like, what is what is that? What are you even talking about? I don't at nine years old, would you even know anything about text? There's so much

Tanya Gill: 00:05:47

confusion around it too. Because you everything you've known in Ghana to be home, Family Safety, security. It was suddenly uprooted. And you were slammed into Oh, this is your real mom. And now this is your new life. Yes. And and where are you most needed? Someone who was there to hold you and protect you and nurture you?

Tanya Gill: 00:06:15

Yes. She was anything but

Gloria Sarpong: 00:06:24

she was anything but so I mean, I don't call him that my godparents. But my parents home. I know or came here with you know, they, they're very lovely. my godmother, I call them my godparents, my godmother. It's very patient, you know, loving wife, mother, very counsel, you know, it was, it was such a huge transition for me, because I was the one I knew was much kinder, much clearer and much, you know. So, as time goes on, I've gone to emergency room with this, you know, my mom, and they told her, you know, hey, I think what your daughter has going on here is a yeast infection, or whatever the case says. But I think she she was still not convinced and was still in her own world of disbelief. And she wanted to believe what she wants to believe, you know, and, you know, years goes on with abuse and lack and poverty and so much, and I made up my mind that I am not going to be stuck in this environment, I can't, I can't be in this environment, because you eventually become your environment. And I realized that as you know, school, took me different places and church activities, took me traveling, and I realized, you know, there's a bigger world and where I am and there are lovely people and there are different characters who are not like her and here I am in Texas.

Tanya Gill: 00:08:04

Thankfully married moving on. So now I want to talk about this because the the abuse and we don't expect detail, I mean, this story, but you shared with me some pretty significant abuse and and the abuse was so intense and so bad. Yes. That there was physical damage done to your body. Yes. And, and you were told that you would probably never have children as a result.

Gloria Sarpong: 00:08:47

Yeah, so it didn't, it didn't get that get to that. And just also, medically finding out about, you know, infertility or you may have this, you may have that and going through miscarriage and you know, we're not wishing that I even give birth to a girl because I was like, I don't know how I'm going to offer love to a female child because as a female child, I wasn't really offered love. Well, I knew the love of my father and my godparents. They were very awesome. And so, you know, at some point, I was like, Okay, maybe you know, I need to reach we strategize my thinking or you know, renew my mind and realize that, you know, I am not her. And if I don't do what she did to me to my daughter, how will my daughter react to that? Same way I reacted towards her. So it's all about seeking help, you know, recognizing your trauma is very important. Because the thing about traumas that your, or bills is that your abusers are manipulators, they're very huge manipulators. And most often times narcissistic. They believe what they believe. And they tell people what they believe. And they will tell people that you're a liar. You're a bad child, you're, you're ugly, you're this, you're that and, you know, I had to I had to seek help. And I'm glad I did. And I know that definitely, I'm better and different from what I've been through, and I don't look like what I've been through, which is

Tanya Gill: 00:10:48

the most exciting part to the whole store. Yes. that your life is that you have been intentional, through your own awareness to change the story of your own life. Yes. And, you know, it's interesting, because you talk about abusers, and you know, about them being narcissistic, and, and controlling and, and potentially being very black and white. And there might be there may be listeners who are honestly, Gloria, listening to this going, Oh, my God, she's she's speaking. She's speaking my speak. Yes, my story, I understand this. And also, then this incredible fear of knowing that you've come from something so traumatic and so deeply desirable. And then it's that legacy, right? You are in the place to change that story moving forward. Yes. And then when and then you know, you talk about your miscarriage and I want to honor that miscarriage because I know that miscarriages are very, very, very hard if they are grief, or loss. Yes. And and then, as we were chatting, you shared with me that you are pregnant, and you're super big congratulations to that. Thank her husband are due in May the interesting pieces that they are do with a baby girl. Yes. And so, you know, in our conversation you shared you were like, I just wanted a boy. I just wanted a boy. I just wanted a boy.

Gloria Sarpong: 00:12:43

Yeah, right.

Tanya Gill: 00:12:46

Do you remember what you said? Why you said you wanted a boy?

Gloria Sarpong: 00:12:49

Yes. I like I will read areas. Like I mentioned earlier, I wanted a boy because I had fear of not being able to raise a female child or you know, I had fear that I won't be able to give her the love that I didn't never receive from a mother. But then I thought about it. I was like, Hey, first of all, I am not her first child or first chick, female child. And I am different from her. I am not her. I'm definitely not her. I've gone places she hasn't gone. I've I've seeked help. You know, that's very the most important thing is that I've recognized that this is not normal. I realized that okay, hurt people hurt people. And so in order for me to not hurt my child, I have to heal from my heart. And make sure that my wounds are not going to be a bother in my child's life. And to be honest, I just I feel as though I just can't wait because it has renewed my mind. And I'm like, I'll give her everything I never had and more. And I will show her every love. I wish I wish I had because how would I want it? How I would have wanted to be treated or never got treated? She deserved that and more. And it's a crazy word. And I think you know, another thing is I realized how much I I suffered and what I had been through and you know, the bills and the molestation and rape and you know all these things and I'm like God, I really got to make sure I protect my daughter and I will protect her. My life is not about me anymore. It's going to be about her. No. So I am quite excited about it.

Tanya Gill: 00:14:59

You know, my love, I think it's interesting that you are so like, I think it's it's so beautiful, that you have made this incredible shift to this is going to be about creating a beautiful life for her that this is also about you, because this is about the legacy of self love. And she's going to be watching how you treat yourself, how you take care of yourself, how you educate yourself, the way that you connect with other people. That is that legacy that you are shifting and changing very intentionally. And it's beautiful. Now, our listeners are going to be like, Okay, so this young lady went through so much craziness, extreme abuse. And now she is in nursing, she drives Uber on the side and gets to meet really cool people, if I might say so myself. Yes, definitely. Yes. She's about to become a mother. And it's like, what was it? What was it that made you decide that your life was not going to just follow in your mom's footsteps?

Gloria Sarpong: 00:16:27

Well, I I do believe that because of my involvement in church and ministry, and I started teaching Sunday school at the age of 12. Five, it was like church was my comfort zone. Or like my, my safe place, my safe haven, I would say, and the people I was surrounded with at church and the friends I had and grew up with, and the support systems that I had really made me know that I am different. And I'm not going to be like her. And I realized no. Hug poverty and all these factors, lack of finances. And frustrations also plays a part. And it affects mental health. And I realized that I'm, I'm not gonna be like that. So I'm gonna keep pushing ourselves. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I'm definitely not where I used to be. Yeah.

Tanya Gill: 00:17:32

And I love that, yes. Because you're like, I know where I'm going. And I'm not there yet. And, and, and, you know, my love was the things that we talk about with adverse childhood experiences, is the importance of having one caring adult in our lives. And in your case, you found community, you found community within your faith group, right? And wherever that community lies, when you find that space that feels safe, that feels like you are home, that you feel that genuine connection and encouragement from, whether it be from the entire group, but I bet you anything, you can name somebody who was influential. Was there one person who influenced you the most when you were that kid? Oh, go into church.

Gloria Sarpong: 00:18:27

I think I've had several, but I'm the honest that I will think my pastor, I will just say generally, my pastors, I've had some amazing pastors. I think, you know, they kept me going and advising me that make sure that I get good education, because education is key. And, you know, they wouldn't they were never just about religion. Because, you know, let's face the fact religion is a key but not the key to every door in life. So, that was one of my, my, my, my most influential people, you know.

Tanya Gill: 00:19:16

And it does sounds like they showed up for you with honor, empathy, love.

Gloria Sarpong: 00:19:24

And as well as all my my middle school teachers, my height my educators. I remember, like in, in middle school, three teachers Miss Quinlan assures me this is the tracklist they came together and they paid for my prom. They will support me financially. I mean, it was just so amazing. So I will think about them all the time. And I'm like, I have to make them products, be able to go back and say thank you cast them a check, you know, Even though I haven't been able to do that yet, but if I was a terrible child, or if I was a terrible student or not excelling academically, and if they had not seen, I'm sorry, I'm getting emotional. If they hadn't been good to me, or, you know, they if they had not been going to have purpose, I don't think they would have existed in my life. And I'm so grateful, even though sometimes I'm like, I feel bad because I've never been able to go back and get back to them. But I know for sure. Listen, listen, cheer me on, you know. Yeah. cheering

Tanya Gill: 00:20:43

you on so hard. And as, as a former teacher, as a former teacher, and as a social worker. I understand that Power of Feeling seen. And that these three beautiful teachers, let's give them a shout out again,

Gloria Sarpong: 00:21:03

Miss Mrs. tracklist. This is the chocolates, Miss Miss Asher Quinlan and Miss Quinlan. Yes, and my sorry, are at the time. Oh, I forgot the name. It was a male counselor, my male counselor, and middle school people.

Tanya Gill: 00:21:31

And here's the thing, though, this is what this is what the trifecta is of joy is about and this is why I wanted to have you on here because along the way, there have been people who they may have not even thought about the impact and influence that they've had. Like we should we can never underestimate the value of the way that we show up for another person. Yeah, and, you know, these four, the three beautiful teachers who made sure your grad happened, and, and the counselor who who helped continue to encourage you are people who, that's their job to a certain degree. However, however, they may not even realize they changed the trajectory of your life. Yeah. And so here you are, Gloria and, and you are a beautiful shining example of light, and of legacy forward in love and light, as God, the universe, source, whatever word we want to use to describe it very intentionally, has aligned the spirit of a baby girl in your womb, so that you can heal your own journey and ensure that that legacy moving forward is one of love, and security, and safety, acceptance. And you know what, I know that this little girl is going to be badass, I know that she's gonna shake her. Right. And she's and I think she's probably going to be a little bit on the feisty and fiery side given who and and for all of that, I am so so excited for you, your husband and your baby girl who's coming. My love as we are ending our podcast. If you had a piece of advice for someone who's been through adversity, and wonders if they can take the next step.

Gloria Sarpong: 00:23:59

What would you say to them? I will say to them, as I said to myself, each time I was suicidal, alright, thought about, you know, ending it felt worthless, and what's the point of life is given up it's not an option. Every day when you wake up, it tells you that there is something something greater, something better ahead. And like I would tell myself, if I'm still alive, it means God has a plan for me. And given up it's not an option. I'll say it again. Can't give up. You got to keep moving. Move until you get to your destination into the school. Just keep moving. And it gets hard. It gets hard sometimes want to give up when it's so in the towel and you know, but Always remember the people that have made an impact? Yeah, what would they say? You know, just keep them as motivation that you just want to make them.

Tanya Gill: 00:25:15

And you know, my love what is so amazing about this, Gloria is that you want to make the people that you love, proud. But a bigger and more beautiful piece of this is that your story is going to inspire others. And your openness to being on on the trifecta of joy podcast, after our conversation, we go in, can I share you with the world? Can I just share with the world? I just, I was like, I need to share you with the world. And, and you were like, Ah, yes. And honestly, like, I really truly felt that heart connection with you. I was like, this is a beautiful soul with a beautiful story that people can be inspired by and learn from. And you know what, if you're waking up in the morning, giving up isn't an option. It's just one step at a time. It's one step at a time. You are a beautiful human, thank you so much for this interview and for sharing yourself with our audience. I can't wait until this baby is born and I get to see pictures. And I'm so excited. I am so excited. To our listeners. Thank you for joining us and I am certain like Gloria has been an inspiration to you. Please remember, there are amazing people everywhere. There are amazing people in the grocery store. And we all have tremendous stories and it really comes back to as Jody Carrington says, feeling seen in order to create these really cool conversations and, and sharing inspiration in the world. Thank you so so much Gloria.