Love, Light and Your Values

Tanya Gill: 00:00:08

Hi friend, I'm Tanya Gill, welcome to lighten up and unstuck your What the fuck. Together, we explore the ways through life's stickiness moments, and how to live with more peace, joy, love and gratitude. We're going to talk honestly about what isn't easy, so you can discover the light within you that will carry you forward. My friend, this podcast is about you in real life, your body, mind and soul, and the opportunity to not only live your best, but shine, doing it.

Tanya Gill: 00:00:52

Hey, friends, welcome to lighten up and unstuck you're What the fuck, I am so glad you're here. I have been trying to decide what to do this podcast on because I've had so many different ideas. And I keep coming back to how we live in our values. And I'm really noticing for my clients how they are really living more presently, when they're living aligned with their values, and they're noticing it. And it's so amazing. And this week, I had a beautiful conversation with my mother in law. And it reminded me of the choices that I make in my life and how they do align with my values. So my overarching value is authenticity. And my core values are love, adventure and health. And a couple of years ago, shortly after my dad passed away, I was at the floor at local florist with my mom. And I made the decision to arrange to have my mom receive flowers every month, fresh flowers every month. I did it for two reasons. The first is I know how much my mom loves fresh flowers. The second reason I'll be kind of honest, was that growing up, my dad saw fresh flowers as a waste of money. And so my mom rarely indulged in them for herself for a very long time. And when she received them from him, he often gave them to her begrudgingly. So I wanted her to have a beautiful, positive joyful experience around flowers on a regular basis. I personally love flowers. And I do think that they are an incredible way of spreading love and light. So for me, this is aligned with love, because I am sharing a connection and showing my love to my mom adventure because she doesn't know what she's going to receive every month. And it's a fresh new way of enjoying and health because wellness is about taking those moments and enjoying them. And I do think that having living things around us in the way of plants and animals makes our lives healthier and better. So I want to move on to another mother. Because I have two other mothers in my life. And one of those mothers is my first husband, John's mom. And interestingly enough, I would not say that we had the most connected relationships through the years. I recognize that my energy and my personality can be a bit much for some people. And I think for them, it felt a little bit much. But I've always maintained relationship and connection with his family because they are important. They are part of us, and we love them. And so through the years I've had different degrees of connection with my first mother in law, and recently she's undergone incredible change first being removed from their family home. And then because of her husband's illness being relocated, not once but twice, where she went from a giant home to a room in a care facility and shortly thereafter. Her husband my father in law passed away. She has been through a tremendous amount of change. change in the last year and a bit. And so at Christmas time, I made the decision that for as long as I could, I would arrange to have flowers sent to her every month as well. And every time I speak to her, she tells me how long they've lasted and how she and the rest of the residents have enjoyed them and how they bring a little bit of light into the dining room. And I just enjoy hearing

Tanya Gill: 00:05:36

her joy in receiving them. When I chose to send her flowers, it was a decision around reminding her that whether or not she has a giant garden, she contend she can still enjoy nature's beauty, indoors. And the magical thing about flowers, especially the ones that are cut and purchased for gifts is that they are grown for the sole purpose of spreading joy of giving light and goodness. They're intended for love. So my third mother is my newest mother in law. And I call her party girl. And the reason I call her party girl is because to be honest, she's kind of got a sad disposition. She's got an adventurous spirit. But because of her body's ability to move and because of her situation. She doesn't get to adventure like she used to. And she loves flowers. She's a talented artist who has painted so many beautiful flowers. And I know that when she receives her flowers every month with a little handwritten note. She also experiences the light, the goodness, the wellness, the health, if you will, that comes from the connection across that time and space and place. She's across the country, I can't sit down and have tea with her. None of these mothers are are mothers that I can access easily on a daily or weekly basis. And yet I can connect with them. And hopefully they can see the flowers and be reminded of the love of my desire to spread love and light in their worlds. Whatever is happening in their worlds. I think flowers sometimes are overlooked and become really cliche for the standard Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, maybe Easter anniversaries birthdays, I think when their most cherished is when they're because I love you. And granted, I've set it up for them to be received monthly. But I also have a relationship with these magnificent florists who have made each of those experiences special in their own way. I'm not sharing this to tell you to go out and spend hundreds or 1000s of dollars on flowers to make things appear like you love someone. What I'm telling you here is this that flowers are my way of spreading love and light to three people that matter a lot to me. Three women that I love three women that love me. And so this is my way of spreading that love and light because it's aligned with my values. And no matter what, I have the choice to do it. And it can be a small bouquet. It can be some flowers from a garden. It can be whatever you choose to show your love and light to others with. But in this case, I wanted to do it consistently for these women because these women aren't just anybody. And I you know I had like I said I have these incredible conversations with with these magnificent florists and one of them. The one who sends the flowers to my mother.

Tanya Gill: 00:10:06

She and I had a conversation about flowers for the living. And how people spend hundreds, sometimes 1000s of dollars per flower flowers for a funeral. Because mom or grandma loved pink roses or because Auntie Joan absolutely loved white peonies. How about giving those flowers to them while they're living and letting them enjoy them, and showing them that love while they're here. Flowers for the living, as Leslie says, is really what it's about. And it's the summer time. So if you've got a garden full, pick a handful and spread the love. It doesn't just have to be to your mama's. It can be to any one. Do what's aligned with your values. And if this is one of the things like go for it and have some fun, spread some love and light. Got it? You know, life is so short, why aren't we just getting out there and doing the little things that spread the love and spread the light. And I shared it with you, by the way of a tale of three mamas and three amazing florists and how that decision is aligned with my values. I talk about values because it is the foundation upon which your life is built. It does help navigate the decisions that you make in your life. And this is just an example of how I do it. And maybe it'll inspire you. At the end of the day, though, this is about your values. And so if you didn't hear the podcast a couple of weeks ago, go back and listen to it. And if you don't want to listen to it, because you're sick of my voice that's okay to go to perfectly imperfect slash values. There's a little video in there and a quick little guidebook that will walk you through getting really grounded in what matters most to you. Because then the big decisions and the little decisions become a hell of a lot easier. And why not? Life doesn't need to be hard it can be and has the opportunity to be infinitely easier. My friend from my heart to yours I love you so much. Thanks for tuning in. And I hope that you can find ways to spread your love and light that align with your values. Have a beautiful week