Getting Clear About What Matters

Unknown: 00:00:08

Hi friend, I'm Tanya Gill, welcome to lighten up and unstuck your What the fuck. Together, we explore the ways through life's stickiness moments, and how to live with more peace, joy, love and gratitude. We're going to talk honestly about what isn't easy, so you can discover the light within you that will carry you forward. My friend, this podcast is about you in real life, your body, mind and soul, and the opportunity to not only live your best, but shine, doing it.

Unknown: 00:00:45

Hey, friends, welcome to lighten up and unstuck you what the fuck. This week, I want to have a conversation with you about values. Every once in a while, I find that I have to kind of revisit my values when it looks when I'm looking at some of the decisions I'm making in my life and, and where I'm prioritizing my time and people. And also making sure that the things I'm doing are aligned with what matters most to me. And it's common for us to kind of move through life without thinking much about our values. But they're actually kind of important. In fact, they're actually kind of the bedrock of behavior. Values are the foundation on which we kind of basically live our lives. And whether we think about it or not, they're the framework for the decisions we make, and often a driving force behind our work and our passions. Values are kind of like a compass that guides our personal conduct our interactions with other people, career choices, and even decisions about how we live our lives, meaningfully, your values, whether you realize it or not, are grounded in every day actions that you make, from how you interact with a server in a restaurant, to the shampoo you buy. Every piece of your life is actually influenced by your values. So why not be clear about them? You may not have given a lot of consideration to something as simple as the shampoo you use. That bottle sitting in your shower does say something about you though. What purpose does it serve? How important is the brand? The place you bought it? The price point? Or even its promises? Like? Is it moisturizing volumizing or color enhancing? I know it sounds ridiculous. And it can sound even really simple. But listen, imagine how your values matter when it comes to making important decisions. Like achieving meaningful goals, and also living authentically because you actually just know who you are. Here's the thing you guys, we often adopt the values of our caregivers, our culture, our religion, our social systems, all of that stuff without question

Unknown: 00:03:34

is something that we take on as children. And where we begin to form our values from in the self love adventure, I talk about our cultural stew. Basically, your cultural stew is the big old pot of life you live now, at birth, think of yourself as clear water, I guess. And as you move through life, others added to that water and created your cultural stew. It's totally unique. And most of your stews base ingredients were added to by your family of origin. They added beliefs and values and lessons, comments, ideas, messages, about who you are and who you're supposed to be and what's supposed to matter in life. They kind of gave you that foundation of what mattered based upon what mattered to them. And as you've built a more solid sense of self, you began to develop choices to retain those values bestowed upon you by others, or to develop your own values as you grew up, others added to your cultural stew when you went to school, and in your friendships and extra curricular stuff. And even the professions that you've chose Isn't your cultural stew continues to be added to today. It's what you watch on Netflix. It's what you consume in the news. It's what you're scrolling through on your phone. It's everything you see, hear and feel around you, and how you process it to matter. In greater or less significance. Let's be honest, you guys, your stew can be a big old pot of overflow gunk. Or you can skim out some of the stuff that's extraneous and get clear again, with what's the base of that stew, I guess, yeah, the base your values. As we build a more solid sense of ourselves, we begin to develop a choice to retain the values bestowed upon us by others, or to develop our own values. And we have the privilege of creating a life that is fulfilling and meaningful. When we let our lives get congruent with our values and live from that place. All fancy shmancy it basically just means living your truth. Some people have totally clear ideas of their values. And if that's the case, you know what this podcast might just be a reminder or a refresher. Here's the thing, though values can shift over time. And let's be real, the pandemic has created some monumental shifts in how we value different parts aspects of our own lives. Some of my clients say the he felt the realization that they had been living in someone else's values when they started working with me. Now, I'm telling you, there's nothing like a What the f moment when you realize that you've been living in someone else's values. I've had clients that have been doing this for years, and came to the realization that their choices had been grounded in someone else's values, often to parents, and not their own life. Now. Imagine the freedom that comes from letting go of something that hasn't given you joy, but you felt obligated to do because it was grounded in the values of a parent. But it actually didn't matter to you. That awareness can create some freedom in feeling and time and even money, and especially energy. Let's be clear, there are not good values and bad values. They are simply what guides our personal conduct. So this isn't a space for judgment. It's how you determine your interactions with others, your career choices and decisions about how you choose to live meaningfully. When you spend time with people who have values that are aligned with yours, you probably feel it, you notice that they add to your life. And they actually kind of feel like they meet your vibrational match.

Unknown: 00:08:31

It's easy to be with them and you feel like you can be more authentic, more you more at ease. I'm telling you, there are so many benefits to knowing your values. It creates harmony. Think about it. Knowing your values creates harmony. If you're not currently living in line with your values, you can make some adjustments, even little ones to realign your life for you to feel a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness and contentment. worries will subside and you can just feel more at peace and again authentic. Knowing your values also, my friend creates meaning. Like I said before, when I was talking about your cultural stew, your life will have so much more meaning when you live in alignment with your values and not the values of others. This is basically living intentionally. Your values give you insight into yourself and how you want to be seen and heard by the world. How you want to educate your children and even what legacy you want to leave Your values actually help you understand your purpose with more clarity. And they speak to your connection with people. Let's be real. Again, we don't live in a vacuum. And because we're constantly interacting with others, knowing your values offers an opportunity for relationships to evolve, as you have more clarity around differing opinions, let's be straight. Not everybody agrees with everything, all of the time, someone else's values may not align with the you right here and right now. And all that does is create a decision for you around that connection. It does not have to lead to conflict. The other super cool thing is that you'll be able to easily identify those people that share your values, and your closest relationships will flourish. Okay, you guys, okay, okay. Okay, spoiler alert. I don't want to leave you hanging with this podcast. So I actually put together a little video and workbook to help you get clear about your values, you can head over to perfectly imperfect dot WTF slash values, and download it for free. But let me tell you, if you do the exercises in this guide book with your loved ones, after you've done it yourself, you will have such a deeper understanding of one another. It's incredible. And your values actually speak super loudly my friend to time. Because if you're thinking, Oh, I'd really like to print that. And and then do it. And maybe I could do it with so and so and so and so and we could have a really cool conversation about it. It all comes back to time. Many of us value time more than anything. When you're aligned with your values, you can actually plan your time more effectively. You'll know why you choose to spend time where you do and the value of gifting time for the things that you love and find fulfilling. Did you catch that? I don't want to drop my mic. But holy shit Mic drop. Let me say that again. You'll know why you choose to spend your time where you do, and the value of gifting time for yourself for the things that you love and find fulfilling. It almost sounds like I'm saying getting clear on your values magically creates time, if you invite it to. And guess what? It does. I know we all only have 24 hours a day. But it's amazing where time can be found when you're clear on your values.

Unknown: 00:13:21

Okay, I want to share one more thing with you. My clients often have shared with me that getting clear about their values has increased their happiness quotient. And I love that their happiness quotient. They're happier because they have awareness around the things in life that contradict or contravene their values. For some of them, this has meant having to say no. And for some of them, this has been a first for them, saying no. And, and it also creates space for considering what they then have room to say yes to again, is that happiness quotient. They create more time for more meaning. Listen, being grounded in your values can open up opportunities for you to devote your time to those things that you consider important. It really is about what you're a big juicy yes to and let's be honest, they the world of values plays a role in your day to day life from your shampoo bottle to everything else. But what's most important is how they determine the decisions that you make at critical times in your life. at critical times in your life, you have to make big decisions around family and friends health career, how you're spending your free time, your personal growth, your intimate relationship with your partner, your faith, and your money. And when you're making those decisions, it's best to know what values you're grounded in, so that you're making the decisions that are best for you that serve your highest good. So let me ask you a question. You've been listening to me talk about values. And I want to know, if you're thinking, do I know my values? Do you? Do you know your values? Most people have three or four key ones, but the list of possibilities is totally endless. My friend, we have spent some time together now. So let's see if you can see the areas of my podcast, or social media or emails, or gifts or anything that you have interacted with me. And if if you can see my values at play. So here we go. My core values are love, adventure, and health. So on the surface, they seem pretty simple. It's actually getting clear on what they mean, that matters here. So let me explain. For me, love is the energetic exchange that comes from openness and gratitude. For me, adventure, means exploration, curiosity, and being open to new and unexpected. Let's get straight about this. I'm including the WHAT THE FUCK moments here I am. And my final value is health. And for me, that is the physical, mental, spiritual, relational, and communal wellness. It's all of me and all of you. And I've gone so far as also to identify my overarching value. And my overarching value is authenticity. And by my definition, authenticity is living my truth aligned internally and externally, in its perfect imperfection. If you follow this podcast, you know exactly what I'm talking about. So listen, go grab the guide, it's going to create the clarity for you too. When you hear my definitions, you might think what but it honestly just takes a little bit of time to create a lot of clarity. And this year, my motto is 48 is fucking great. And I'm aiming to give away 48 gifts. So if you want to start living your life with more intention, peace, love, joy and gratitude. It's waiting for you at perfectlyimperfect.WTF forward slash values. Download that workbook and the video and just dive into you. You totally deserve it.

Unknown: 00:18:37

You matter my friend. When you get clear on what matters to you, you get more clear on why you matter to and for you. From my heart to yours, see you next week. Head on over and grab the guide and dive into your values my friend I love you