When You Feel Your Finances with Heather Abbott

Tanya Gill: 00:00:08

Hi friend, I'm Tanya Gill Welcome to Lighten Up and unstuck your what the fuck. Together we explore the ways through life's stickiest moments, and how to live with more peace, joy, love and gratitude. We're going to talk honestly about what isn't easy so you can discover the light within you that will carry you forward. My friend, this podcast is about you in real life, your body, mind and soul, and the opportunity to not only live your best, but shine and doing it.

Tanya Gill: 00:00:46

So welcome, welcome my friends to Lighten up and unstuck your what the fuck, I am so excited to be with my new friend Heather Abbott. Heather is joining us from Digby Nova Scotia, Canada. And I heard Heather speak about money, and about how our anxiety around money and our relationship with money can be so much like being in an abusive relationship. And that struck me so deeply that I was like I need to talk to this person, she needs to talk to my people. Heather, I'm so glad to share space with you. Thank you.

Heather Abbott: 00:01:33

I am so privileged to know you. You're amazing. I'm glad you reached out. Yeah, so money is a relationship like it's you have a relationship with money. And people will want to tell you what, how you should manage that relationship? How do you get over the problems in your relationship, you know how people are, they love to tell you stuff about what you should do, right. But in the same as if you're in an abusive relationship, you're not going to leave it until you're ready, you're going to be ashamed to admit that you're in it. People don't want people to know they have financial problems, and they don't want people to know that they're in bad relationships. There's worry about if you get out of it. So if you become rich, or if you leave the relationship, what are people gonna think of me? Will I lose my friends? What's gonna happen? How does this actually break down? Right into the day to day, there's so many similarities that you can just so many ways that it's the same. Oh,

Tanya Gill: 00:02:37

my God, Heather, I am having such a WHAT THE FUCK moment right now that I was like, Okay, I want to talk to Heather, about relationships with money. And like, I know that I talked about a cultural stew and the cultural stew that I grew up in, there were money was something to be coveted. There was never enough of it, it doesn't grow on trees. You know, you didn't give it away. And, and you didn't talk about it. That was the other big thing is you didn't talk about it. And so and when you did talk about it, all of the energy around talking about money was quite negative and heavy and whatever. So, you know, and I, as you talked about that, I'm like, yeah, like I really went. That's where I was thinking. And then as you said that about, you know, the shame in addressing your debt or recognizing you have debt or saying this, these are my financial This is my financial situation. And then another layer of potential shame. In what if? Or when I do because I plan on manifesting plenty of abundance, will that change my relationships with other people? Yeah, all of a sudden, you're talking about so many different layers of relationships, holy

Heather Abbott: 00:04:01

back. I know it's, it's, it's an onion, there's definitely layers to it. There's, in what you said, there's even more similarities, right? Like, don't talk about it. Well, if you're not going to talk about the what to watch for in relationships, and you're not going to talk about how to manage money, your kids aren't going to do too well, or they like you when for one of the keys to avoid a bad relationship that you've you've stick in that you don't leave is to have set boundaries. And it's the same for your finances have set boundaries, because what happens is, if it's just sort of like, your boundary is sort of like a piece of rope that's thrown on the floor. You just kick it a little bit and kick it a little bit. And then like for a guide or somebody doing that to to you abusively, they just knock the rope a little bit, knock it a little bit and they reacted so I'm going to step back and it looks like they stepped back up, but they're likely 10 feet in from where that rope started because you didn't make a set boundary a set rule. Right? And without a rule, you can't cross the line. If there are no lines. You have to hear that one, right?

Tanya Gill: 00:05:17

You can't cross a line, if there are no lines.

Heather Abbott: 00:05:23

Yeah, so if you don't have rules around your money, and how you're going to manage it, again, you can't cross the line, because you didn't make any.

Tanya Gill: 00:05:35

So interesting we're working with, with a cup with our adult children right now to help them try and understand their finances better. And as we're working with them, I'm also recognizing that we're in a position where we need to figure out our finances in a, I think in a more knowledgeable way, and try and approach it as numbers with boundaries, that boundary thing that is so interesting, right?

Heather Abbott: 00:06:06

Yeah, that applies to everything. I mean, right? Like, if you're, if you're trying to lose weight, or if you're trying to anything, anything you want to do, you have to have some sort of framework for it.

Tanya Gill: 00:06:19

And then there needs to be align, you know,

Heather Abbott: 00:06:22

yeah. And I think it usually starts, the best way to move into that is to create the new shell, the new bucket, or who you want to be, who do you want to step into what is that position. So if you're, if you're trying to create more wealth, and you're used to having only a small amount of wealth, it's like going to the ocean with a teacup, you need to create a bigger bucket. And if you're, you're trying to create a better relationship, you need to be a better you. Because you will draw to you what you are not that you're abusive, but if you're broken, you bring in broken people. And that's not just me, you know, like romantic relationships, that's all our relationships you are, the average of the five people you are around the most is something I've heard several times, your finances are the average of the five people you're around the most. And it's because those are more of a reflection for us a mirror of where we are, because energetically vibrationally you bring in people that match you, right? Yeah, situations that match you. So if what you look around and what you see is lower vibration than what you want, you have to raise your vibration, and then things will change.

Tanya Gill: 00:07:48

And, you know, I love I'm so glad you said that because it's true, right? Like, like, we like attracts like, it's it's simple, and that is basic science, like attracts like. And, you know, we know that energetically. We find our likes, they just kind of magically appear out of nowhere, just like you magically appearing out of nowhere. And and, and as being able to have this conversation, but you're so right, like, having that feeling going to the ocean with a teacup. Is is a beautiful analogy. And it's not

Heather Abbott: 00:08:33

mine. I got it from somewhere, but I don't know.

Tanya Gill: 00:08:36

But it's but it is. It's it's and you know what, thank you for sharing it because it's a great analogy about about limitations and possibilities.

Heather Abbott: 00:08:46

Yeah, yeah, it is. And the other one that is actually a great analogy for finances is the leaky bucket. Because like one of one of the clients who, every time I'm asked actually, I pretty well bring up her her success story. She's a millionaire, but she was paying out 1000s in penalties and things because she didn't want to look at the finances because she thought the if she looked too closely at where it was going or that, that she might feel negative thoughts and pinch off the flow because it flowed in easily. Right. And when I pointed out to her that you have to look because if you're worried about it, there's already a rock in the stream. So we pull that out, and it will flow. Right. And I forget where I got into this because I was gonna tell you something. Oh, yeah, the leaky bucket. So with her, the money was going out the bottom in ways that she wasn't looking at, right. But because she worked with me when she was in my course that I had done and she was able to look at her finances and just me telling her that one thing shifted her mindset. And I find that with a lot of people I just say the right thing and their mindset takes at 180 that it means to start taking action. And because of that, she'll now not have all the leaks in the bucket. So the abundance that she pours in there so easily is going to overflow so much more. And she can aim it where she wants it to go. And that's,

Tanya Gill: 00:10:20

I think that's the other thing about abundance, you know, like, I want abundance, because, and I am manifesting abundance, because it doesn't just create freedom. For me, it provides so much opportunity for me to share. And so you know, when you talk about that overflow, like that opportunity to share is like that, like lights a fire in my belly.

Heather Abbott: 00:10:46

Yeah, that's what she wants to do, too. And anyone who's ever said, Money makes you bad or evil. No, having lots of money, amplifies who you are, because you were really able to be who you are. The only thing that holds a lot of people back from being the most generous person they can be is the fact they don't have the money to do it. Right, you can only give so much without taking yourself completely under. But there are lots of people who do it. And those people that's my mission is to help heart centered people and entrepreneurs take their place amongst the wealthy. And part of that is dealing with them. A big part of it is dealing with the mindset. I mean, yeah, okay. I'm a CPA, financial advisor about all that knowledge, all the years of experience as an entrepreneur, the numbers come into it. But if I hadn't just mentioned that likely, you'd go away from this interview, never knowing that I do anything to do with numbers. But it's essential. Both parts, you have to have both, because if I can teach you things about managing your money, but I don't talk to you about building a bigger bucket, it's not going to help you. Right, like winning the lottery, it's gone. Like in three years.

Tanya Gill: 00:12:02

It's exactly like those stories, you hear of those lottery winners who absolutely, for lack of a better term, piss it away. Because they weren't prepared to receive it.

Heather Abbott: 00:12:15

And they don't know how to live with it. They don't have any presets on how to deal with it.

Tanya Gill: 00:12:21

When and you know, Heather, what's interesting about that is that I have seen that in multiple different avenues, even even in situations with people who are in poverty situations, for example, and, and we think that if we plop them into a house and give them housing that their problems are solved, right? Like it's, it's kind of the same idea. It's the same extreme. It's not just the framework, it's everything that comes with it. It's, it's who that person is coming at it.

Heather Abbott: 00:12:58

Yeah, yeah. Anyone who wins the lottery, I encourage them to find a very, very heart centered kind, financial advisor. I mean, I, I would have been good. But somebody like me, because I'm not actually doing that I don't manage people's money. But you do need help. Because there are things there are places. You know how people have pensions when they leave work. You can actually buy that you can buy yourself an annuity works like a pension. Right? So you buy yourself an income from your earnings, and then you don't have to worry about people hitting you up for cash all the time. Because it's like, no, I don't have cash. I have an income. That's what I have. Right? Right. Yeah, there's different things you can do. So

Tanya Gill: 00:13:44

let's spend a minute with the other end of the spectrum. What would your piece of advice be to someone who is piling up in credit card debt and feeling like they just don't have a handle on their finances? And

Heather Abbott: 00:13:59

yeah, they're feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, and they want to give up?

Tanya Gill: 00:14:03

Yeah, and and, you know, I feel like there are just a lot of people in that space right now.

Heather Abbott: 00:14:08

That are there are in Canada and 2012 or 13. I don't remember. The statistics are somewhere around 64% of people retire in debt. And in the Maritimes. Here, it was over 80% retire in debt. Retail, you don't want that. So, yes, credit cards and car loans are the two biggest loans that will cause you issues, car loans because the interest comes off in the first way more than at the end. It's front end loaded for interest and you basically pay them all the profit before you pay down your loan and the way they work at car dealerships. Now. You will never own a vehicle that's worth as much as what you owe on it until it's fully paid for. Basically, yeah, never, never never kick those long term Car Loans. For credit card debt, you really you can avoid some of the interest by rotating the debt. So if you know that you have a certain amount that you're buying that month, and you're like, Oh, but I can't use a credit card, because it's way up, we'll put that on the credit card, put the cash on the card immediately. Right? It rotates it because I knew. Like, if you use it like me where I pay it off in full every month, I never paid any interest. So as long as you're paying, it's like churning, it's it's just money goes on, money comes off. The best way to use a credit card is if you use it, you put the money on it immediately. Do not ever use a credit card as a loan. Yes, you may be struggling those payday loans, oh my god, don't touch them. Do not touch them. All you were doing is making it harder the next time by exponential amounts. Rather than not being able to pay your bills now, and finding a solution. You're making it so that not only can you not pay the bills now, but you also have interest added on top of it. So you have more bills. And I know people realize this once they're in the debt, the best thing you can do is follow the advice I just said, pay the things immediately. And the booklet that I have that everybody can have will show you exactly where your money is going. When people say live within your means no one teaches you how to calculate that. I do. Oh my gosh. worklet teaches you

Tanya Gill: 00:16:38

awesome gift. Okay, so this book, I know you are giving this booklet to anybody who listens, they just need to go somewhere to get it. I will make sure that link is in the shownotes but can you tell me what your website is?

Heather Abbott: 00:16:52

Yeah, it's H C Abbott A B B O T T dot C A. So canada.ca If you go to.com you'll still find me but it won't be the right website. So HCabbott.ca. And it just at the top it'll say be an insider that puts you on my email list. No, he will not get many emails. If you get one every two weeks you're lucky if it's more than that is because there's something special going on and maybe I'll be giving something away or something like that. I don't use it to promote a whole bunch of things. But there is some value there. And if I am giving something away you will hear about it. Yeah, so that's that's where you would go hc abbott.ca Get the booklet open it download it it's not going to do you any good on your computer. And I know you don't want to deal with it now I know you don't want to you have to okay this is an accountant financial advisor I know giving someone my card is pointless. They don't want to know about it. It's like dealing with wills and taxes. Oh put it off don't put it off. Even number avoidant people find this system super easy.

Tanya Gill: 00:18:09

Okay, well, you know what, I'm going to put you to the test my friends because I am one of those people who totally I am so one of those people who is tax avoidant, and paperwork, avoidant, and numbers avoidant and, and you know what it I'm not gonna say it hasn't worked for me in the past, but I know it's not working for me now. And I'm like, Okay, it's time, it's time for change. So I'm looking forward to downloading it. And I am so excited that our listeners can not just download it, but print it and put pen or pencil to paper, and actually feel good about moving forward with a sense of understanding and insight.

Heather Abbott: 00:18:59

Can I give one more thing, it just popped in my head because of me saying you want to avoid everything wills are another thing people avoid. And there is a free type of will. It's not valid everywhere. And you do need to look it up in your area. I did a whole podcast episode on it. It's called a holograph. Will. So if you go to my YouTube channel, which is Heather C Abbott, or prosperity and possibilities on the podcast, it's there as well. You will be able to find I forget exactly what it's called. But it's creating my free holograph will and see if it's valid where you are and it just takes five minutes and piece of paper and pen.

Tanya Gill: 00:19:41

Yeah, it's the most important piece of course is to make sure that it's valid where you are. And I really appreciate that Heather because I know for me when my first husband passed away, he was 36 years old. I was 33 years old. We had a four year old and an eight month old And the only reason we had a Will was because he was a lawyer. And he was like this good idea to have these things done. And I was like, we're pretty young. And, and, and thank God, that's all I can say is thank God. So I always say the same thing, make sure you have a well done, make sure that you and your spouse are on all or your partner or on all of your bills. Because otherwise you have to pay, disconnect and reconnect these and make sure that you have an insurance and some kind of plan moving forward in the event that something does happen. So, yes, so you know what, Heather, I really, really appreciate you you suggesting that that's a very important, very important piece. Well,

Heather Abbott: 00:20:49

I did have to deal with one myself. And if it hadn't been for that holograph will, I would have had to go to court just to get permission to do with the estate, what the government says I should do. dying without a will is just playing me into it. All it takes is five minutes to write out a holograph will until you get to a lawyer, it is not a replacement for a really goodwill because while your snow stuff we don't write, right, I read some of it, but I don't share that. So

Tanya Gill: 00:21:20

in reality is, is there's a reason we have those professionals like accountants, and lawyers, we have different professionals in different specialists in different areas to be able to meet all of our needs. And that's what makes a wonderful world that we live in. Other from the bottom of my heart, I am so so grateful. One final takeaway for our listeners today.

Heather Abbott: 00:21:45

A take action on the things that you're learning. Like I know, people don't want to do these things. But please hear us go to it. Actually, do it. Get the booklet because I don't have to give this information away for free. I do it because I know people need it. I have people who are doing well. Because I taught them this there's girls in their 20s who are doing supremely well financially far better than their friends because I taught them this. Go get it.

Tanya Gill: 00:22:23

Oh my friends go and get this going get this at whatever stage you're in your life, this is an opportunity to get a better handle on it moving forward.

Heather Abbott: 00:22:33

Oh my god, anything in it for me. This is just me actually trying to help. Yes, you'll be on my email list. But I actually don't really sell to my email list. So there's really nothing in it. For me it's just having you in my universe and getting you to know who I am and

Tanya Gill: 00:22:48

benefit. And you know what Heather, I am so so glad for who you are. I really am so glad for who you are sharing time and space with you and, and sharing with my listeners our listeners about you know how they can unstuck they're What the fuck. And again, I just the reminder that your relationship with your finances can be but doesn't have to be like an abusive relationship. Thank you so much my friend. For our listeners. Thank you for listening in for another amazing episode of lighten up and unstuck. You're What the fuck? Don't forget to follow me on socials and if you have any thoughts, comments, questions or anything else reach out and let me know. You are awesome. Thank you.